February 6, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: Day 6- Faith…and Fearing less

” The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”(Exodus 14:14)

I have to tell you that I really had a hard time with this particular theme for the day. But then I received the above verse from a friend, and it was like God was nudging me to say,
” This is in MY hands Angie, Just do what you do, and I’ll take care of it.”
Its easy to forget, its so easy to forget that God will ultimately take care of our situations the way He sees fit.
We forget regardless of where we are…who has control.
I have to be reminded sometimes, more times than not really lately.

But here’s the thing though, ” 30 days of Faith” is based on exactly that, and for me since before this project began,
I have had my own moments of testing, and teaching. They haven’t been all that fun, but I do know that whatever I am to learn from all this, its for a greater purpose then I can see.

I know that I just have to remain strong, I just have to remember who really is God, and who really is NOT.

I think once we are finished with ” 30 days of Faith” that I am going to do a series of post on spiritual warfare.
Regardless of what you believe; I KNOW you can tell that there is something in this world that tries to beat out the good.

And that thing is something that I tries to get us where we are the weakest.

In order to fear less, we have to not be so faith-less. We have to be people who can get up in the morning and remember it really is a new day, and that anything that comes in our path, God KNOWS it was going to happen.

I love this next guest blog post by my friend Sandra Dobbins. Sandra is just an adorable person, I met her through blogworld, and she is just so encouraging. She has a heart of gold who just has no problem sending a Beth Moore study to someone across the nation, just because she thought they could use it. She is self-less, and people like her are a lot better at handling fear in my own personal opinion, because the more humble we are, means the less pride we have, and the less ammunition for the enemy to use against us. But anyway, take a look at her post, its short, but oh so perfect:)

I do not know where I heard this from but it has always been my
stance on faith.
I look at faith quite literally like my shield. And just like in the days
of Christ a soldiers shield was everything to him.
If he came back from battle without it he was considered a failure, a disgrace to his family.
If he died in battle he was carried out on his shield.
At the end of the battle the commanding officer would have all the men display their shields
and the soldier with the most darts and arrows on his shield was paraded
through the town as the most couragous.
My shield of faith is just like that, sometimes its the only covering I have at night, sometimes its my
only friend, but in the end I know when I drag my shield up that road
covered in darts it will be a gift to lay at His feet.

Sandra Dobbins

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February 4, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: Day 5-Faith…and Desperation

I decided to work out some the other day, I was all about it. I got on the treadmill and started to so a manual track.
It was 15 min. It didn’t seem like the same 15 min I usually walk. This time I sweat a little.
But the thing I clearly remember about it was everytime I touched my hands to the bar it would show my heart rate.
It was to let me know how my heart was taking the exercise.

I had a very trying night. Its the kind of night that you can’t help but want to put your head in your hands and just bawl.

Sometimes there isn’t anything more you personally you can do to make a day better. You can’t say the right things, or do enough. Sometimes you just can’t FEEL enough. Tonight was like that.

There is a song by Nichole Nordeman called, ” The Altar” and it just cuts to the core of how I feel when I am desperate for God just to hear what I am going through.

Here is the song lyrics:
I’m at the end of myself, I just dropped out of the running
I don’t recall when I last pulled the shades and said “here comes the sun, here comes the new day”
Someone remind me again that joy might show up on occasion
I’m sitting here with my hands on my head, and my eyes on the ground, wondering if I’ll be found by You

Will you make me new? Will you take what’s left of me?
I guarantee that it won’t be a fair trade.
Will you set me free from what’s keeping me afraid?
I know I’ve prayed it all before, but I’m back on the altar

I don’t believe what they say about one foot in front of the other
If my life was a map, you’d see every last step just circling around, still lost, never found by You

So will you make me new? Will you take what’s left of me?
I guarantee that it won’t be a fair trade.
Will you set me free from what’s keeping me afraid?
I know I’ve prayed it all before, but I’m back on the altar

Maybe last year I’d have made empty promises
Maybe last month I’d have tried to pull strings
But I don’t have one single chip left to bargain with
The only thing left is me needing You to make me new

Will you take what’s left of me?
I guarantee that it won’t be a fair trade
Will you set me free from what’s keeping me afraid?
I know I’ve prayed it all before
But I’m back
On the altar

I want to say to you, whoever you are out there reading this. That even if you believe or don’t believe in God, out of your desperation in prayer, I can promise you from what I know in my own life. The right one will be listening.

I am at a place right now, where yes, I’ve said Job is my BFF, because its such a teaching time right now, but during a situation the decision was set in my soul, ” There is nothing more YOU can do in this situation.”
I have to completely rely on God to settle this thing however He chooses. My hands HAVE to be be OFF!

Its not such a comfort to let God just handle things in our lives, but when we’ve done all we can we know we are desperate, and in the desperation we shall find our test of faith. How long it takes to take off the control.

The song I was telling you about, it hits to the core of how I am feeling, because it is me sharing with God how strong my faith is in Him. In my desperation I can say that, because I keep trying to put my hands back on the thing I am dealing with, God keeps taking His hands off.

We have to be desperate enough for God to take control, that we leave our hands off!

I don’t know if you are dealing with something similar today, but just know I know He hears our prayers, He hears our cries, He hears everything we say and do. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Let’s be desperate for Him, Let’s have a faith of desperation.

My next guest post is by my very best friend in the world Katherine Bagocki. I have known Kat since we were in junior high.
She has seen everything I’ve been through, and vice versa. I am thankful to have her apart of my life, because its
lonely being crazy without someonelse sharing in it:) Please take a look at her blog post. She likeCady, also has different views on faith, but again, we connect so well in our differences. I am blessed by her friendship everyday:) Love you Kat!

I should start out by saying that I do not attend church. The reason is not
because I don’t believe in God, but that I don’t agree with organized religion.
For some people it works; for me it does not. I was raised in the chruch and I
attended through high school. After that, I decided that I was going to work to
understand how I felt without being told how I should. Chruch did not provide
me with the answers that I sought. I read the Bible cover to cover over and
over again. I looked up things that I needed claification on. I researched. I
learned and embraced. Some people I know give me a hard time because I do not
go to church. But the Bible says when two or more people gather together in His
name, then He is there. I believe this, and I practice this. I was raised
Methodist. If you ask me now what I am, well, I don’t know what I’d say. Maybe
I practice Agnostic Theism – defined by wikipedia as the view of those who do
not claim to know of the existence of any deity, but still believe in such an
existence. I can’t tell anyone that God exists 100%, but I still believe that
there is definitely something/one greater out there. I’ve wittnessed miracles.
I’ve seen the unexplained. And I see beauty everywhere that cannot be chalked
up to just science. I don’t know how I view the Bible – is it really God’s
word, or a bunch of stories written by men to tell us the histories of God and
Jesus but with their own twists? There are some consistancies where history and
the Bible collide, and you can tell some things were written for specific
groups. But on the whole, I do believe that it is a wonderful tool to
understanding God. I do not believe, however, that the words written are set in
stone; that things are to be left to our interpretation. I have studied many
religions and there is an underlying theme of goodness and love. I read the
Bible and I believe that God guides my heart as I do. I believe in the
discussion of the stories to bring further understanding; I do not believe in
being TOLD what they mean. Faith is our own, to embrace as we feel is just and
right. No one can tell us how our heart should feel and how our personal
relationship with God should be. We were given free will for a reason, and I
believe in the right to exercise it. There are so many steps in my faith that
it would very difficult to explain it all. Do I think I will be punished for
not following organized religion? No, I don’t. I have my reasons, and I know
God understands. I love to discuss religion and faith, and I love the feelings
that I get when read certain stories and passages in the Bible. I’ve questioned
God, I’ve hated God, and I’ve asked God for forgivness and mercy. I’ve stopped
asking Him for specifics – I now just ask for His will to be done and for me to
be brave enough to accept what He decides. I know that I am a good person, with
good values and good morals. I am loving, caring and blessed. I am humble and
afraid. I don’t believe that my faith has anything to do with my religion and I
get very upset when someone questions that. God knows us as ourselves, our
individualities make Him proud. I don’t believe in cookie cutter religion and I
don’t believe that because someone goes to church that they are faithful.
Faith is our own – not to be questioned, judged or taught. Faith is ours to
create and embrace. Faith is something we treasure and we protect. And faith
is what we rely on when we have nothing else. And in the end, what else matters
but what we really and truly believe in our hearts, our minds, our entire
being?”

Katherine Bagocki

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February 3, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: Day 4- Faith…the light inside you

Something interesting I realized while reading through Genesis 1:4…” God separated darkness from light.”
I don’t know if that speaks to you or not.
We know the Genesis is starts with the creation of the Earth, but as I read it I realized a correlation can be made.

God didn’t just separate the darkness from light, as in night and day; but if we can just think a little deeper for a moment;
God has separated the ” ugliness” of who we are from the ” beautiful”.

There is a candle lit in my bedroom. Its pink, and has a flower scent to it. Whatever color it is, or what it smells like doesn’t matter compared to its actual purpose, which is to light the room.

I remember a wise friend of mine did a session with me years back, and I remember him asking me this:
” If I were to turn the light off in the room, where does the light go?” and then he told me to not answer until he asked the next question, ” or if I were to turn the light back on, what happens to the darkness?”
It all depends on what we allow to overpower us; but in case you didn’t know, there has to be a slight contrast between
darkness and light for us to know the difference.
I mean just like that example that is us. We have light inside us, but darkness does exist too.
How can we appreciate the ” goodness” in life if we never experienced darkness?

There is a light inside us. We have to know and believe that it holds the best of who we are, and what we can do.
For me, that light is Jesus. He leads my heart and soul the direction it needs to go.

” Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”

Knowing that we have a purpose in this life, that is what makes the light shine brighter…we accept the challenge.

I was telling a friend that people may look as us differently, because us creative brains can just go deeper than the ocean in our thought processes, but those people don’t realize that its just a change in light. We all have to learn to let the light shine out of the darkness, like the scripture says. We aren’t here on earth to be hidden.

People in Haiti need us, just as people down the street or next door need us.

Who you are on the inside, will impact the outside?

Will you let God separate the light from the darkness in your own life?

My next guest blog poster is a very dear friend of mine in blogworld, her name is Fran Thomas and this woman is someone I very much can say
does shine the light of Jesus everywhere she has the opportunity:) We have prayed together through DM’s on
twitter, and have just really had our own bond that without blogworld, would not have been possible.
I am grateful for her friendship, and her faith.
I am also excited to say I will be meeting her face to face in April:)

Please enjoy her blog post; I think it has a very deep and powerful message.

Take it up a notch!

I don’t want to sit here and define faith for you, or tell you of my latest personal struggle with faith, or what Hebrews Chapter 11 says about faith. What I do want to do is give you something else to think about….I’m thinking of the chair I sit in each and every day and what I’m seeing.

My perspective right now is this…..

I know a precious woman who has a HUGE faith. She is so wise, has a heart of pure gold, and knows what God wants from her in her daily life. She and her husband do not go to church. I don’t even know why I just typed that out, but I did. That could be a new and different post for another time. Does church make me any better off than someone not going to church? Hmmmm…ponder that one for a minute or two.

Ok, back to my perspective chair.

I’m watching someone I truly love wrestle out faith. She is in a low place right now because she is just plain worn out and tired and ready for God to step in and make His grand entrance and we move onto the next scene because this one is really getting old. You know that place I’m talking about. Time is ticking and you are just plain worn slick. I’ve been there. I just came out of there and it’s so tough.

I’m watching my precious friend live this out and I began to wonder….”How am I helping her live out this faith?”

I’m an encourager by nature so it’s easy for me to give the ole “you can do it and trust God speech.” But, when I’m living it WITH her and having conversation after conversation with her….I must do more than say, “You can do this. Trust God with this.”

So, my question or challenge for both of us is this…

How can we be effective encourager’s for those around us who are in that valley and beginning to struggle with their faith.

I’m committing to pray for them….AND TELL HER SO.

I’m doing more than just listen and nod my head….I’M ASKING GOD FOR WORDS TO GIVE HER!

I’m doing more than just tell them “God will work it out.” ……I’M GOING TO REMIND HER OF HIS FAITHFULNESS.

What do you do when you are listening and watching someone you love struggle in that valley?

What can we all do that is above and beyond the norm?

I’m anxious for some answers.

Hugs and blessings~
Fran

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February 2, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: Day 3- A Firm place to stand

Do you like the word OBIDIENCE? Yes, none of us probably really and truly do.
But what if you pictured the word as if you were standing in front of a huge beautiful mansion.
A mansion God has every beautiful thing inside to be imagined.

But in order to get through the doors, effort has to be made.
You have to get a little scared, get the butterflies of uncertainty in your stomach,
You have to just close your eyes, take a deep breath…and then walk inside.

This is what I’ve come to more understand what the word, ” obedience” means. It isn’t this horrid word, if we can see
what can come from it.

This new life here in Georgia; I can confidently say it happened because I was obedient and left FL as soon as God took ahold of my hand. I should tell you I thought it was me that was all about coming to Savannah. I thought God was just going to bless me while i was here, because it was the desire of my heart to move here eventually.
But what I have learned since being here, is that God’s desires and our desires for our lives…can be the same.

Its about where we place our feet that matters. Its about where we consciously can take our minds to imagine.
It’s about looking at possibilities as realities. Its about walking through the fog without wondering if there is a wall on the otherside. It’s about faith.

Faith is the foundation. You have to believe in something, but you have to KNOW what you believe also.

Think of a broken down house, the windows and the doors broken, and the floorboards rotting.
On the outside the house painted beautifully and the garden kept.

Its easy to keep the outside of who we are sparkling, in a fascad of make up, but we are dying inside. Who we are on the inside if not kept up in something positive, and encouraging…then it too would look like a broken down house.

We have to make the effort to not just obey, but to also take initiative to do better for ourselves.

Your past may have created who you are, but your past doesn’t make who you are on a daily basis. YOU are the one
who decides that you want to dwell on all your past mistakes and behaviors. Its a choice.

When I was a substitute teacher my rule was this. We all have choices in life, choices to do well, and have respect for ourselves and others, or we can choose not to. Regardless, its is a choice. But with each choice comes a result.
I was clear in telling the students that it was their choice in who they wanted to show the world that they were like.

So what is your foundations set on?

Are you standing on a rocky surface that could fall at any moment and take your dreams with it?
OR are you standing at a place where you can honestly have no regret, and take it all one day at a time?

My foundation is set by who I have chosen to be in my life. It might not always be easy to be on this journey where
I am not quite sure what will happen next, but I do know that very way of thinking and praying has gotten me this far.
I am okay sticking with it.
And sure sometimes there will be a wall on the otherside, but even walls can be taken down.

I would like to introduce you now to my next guest blog poster. She is a long time friend in blogworld.
Her name is Darla(www.http://4evrhis.wordpress.com, and she is what I would have to say is an ” overcomer” she has dealt with so much in her life, and I admire that she has been able to keep her faith through all of it.
I remember her comments on my blog a few years ago. She would always start it by calling me, ” Princess” and anyonelse she would comment to. Its a word that means worth and value.
Darla, thank you for being apart of this:) it blesses my heart!

Please read below:)


My Thoughts on Faith

While thinking about what to write for the “30 days of Faith”, I had a problem with writing just one thing that did not require a long lead in…its a blog for cryin out loud! I can be so long winded.

The Lord taught me a very strong lesson last year, and continued to re-enforce it a few times this year. I drive a school bus, and I am very aware that with out His help, I could not possibly do this every day. Its a huge piece of machinery, and the cargo is alive and belongs to someone else. If I think to long on that I will stress! In the area I live, fog in the mornings is not unusual.

One morning inparticular, the fog was so intense. I could see only 5-10 feet in front of the bus, and knew the back road I was traveling on had quite a dip on the sides that would no doubt turn over this bus. Fear set in. Praying silently…”Lord, I am scared, and do not know how to do this.” A peace settled on my spirit, and breathing easier…then HE spoke to my heart..”I can see, and I know where you are going, do you trust me? Child, this what I mean by walking by faith and not by sight.”

We made it through that fog and many more mornings after, and with each foggy morning I am reminded that although I don’t know where my life is taking me, or the plan HE has for me, HE knows. Trusting HIM to take me is sometimes a blind effort, reaching out my hands and believing. Unknowingly, this lesson was needed for the next year to present in my life.

My life has been going in a new direction, and even now as I type this, I can not see where I am going, or if I will know it when I get there. But I know that I know that I know…these are moments when my Faith is strengthened, and when I come to know HIM more, and that is priceless!

Darla

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January 31, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: Day 2-Faith…and The Feeling of Failure

We all have the little voice inside our head that tells us, ” You can’t do this, or you can’t do that, or you will never be as good as this person, or you could never really make it doing this…”

LIES. LIES. LIES!

I have been dealing with something in my personal life. You can honestly say Job is my BFF right now. I am totally okay in saying that, because I have grown to have so much appreciation for his story.
We don’t understand completely what happened to him in his life, but we can understand that we’ve all had times where we just didn’t understand WHY things were happening as they were.

Usually, when we aren’t doing well at something we easily can feel like a ” failure”- its the major thing I can commend Job for, is that he didn’t let his friends help him decide who he said God was, he really kept true to what he believed.
His friends believed he was a failure due to his sin, but God didn’t believe that about Job…
God KNEW from the beginning that Job would succeed in staying true in his heart for God.

God knows that about us too. God sees what we are going through, He sees that we are struggling.
And honestly, I can tell you this, its as EASY as asking Him in simple words like I did,
” Lord, I just need you to be the center of this situation right now, I need you to be in complete control,
and do with it, whatever you will.”

The next time I approached this situation, I was feeling so afraid of not doing well, of really falling on my face, and I just literally felt like a failure where I had started out succeeding so well.

I am going to use the latest quote by Beth Moore, because it so just paints a picture for us,
” If your area of effectiveness is being under attack, and it lasts more than 3 days, it is more than just hormones.”

Basically, I was allowing the feeling and fear of failure encompass my very life, I was allowing it to scare me to the point that I was SHAKING when I walked into this situation.

But I found out, I had no reason to be so afraid; God had already handled it…everything was a complete turnover.

I was in awe.

So let me tell you this. Don’t allow the enemy or ANYONE to make you feel like you can’t do something well, or something about you isn’t good enough…IT IS A LIE! We are placed where we are for PURPOSE, and the enemy knows this!

Don’t let him get a foothold on the beautiful things God lays in your hands…regardless of how difficult it is,
LET HIM BE IN CONTROL…
We can’t fail if we have faith on our side:)

Below you find my next guest poster for ” 30 Days Of Faith”-
Her name isLeigh Gray, and she is a author and speaker of ” Speaking Thru Me Ministries.”
I met her through Beth Moore’s LPM blog, and she is just such a delight and a wise woman.
I love how she is straight to the point with people, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything…
Its the best way to be.
Please read below her words on her thoughts of ” Faith”:)

Putting Feet to Faith

Faith can be such a daunting part of the Christian walk to understand and figure out. Once I think I have finally have it all mapped out in my mind and heart then life happens to change its course. Life has a way of doing that.

I think I have been the greatest of all conference attenders. If there was a speaker coming in a 100 mile radius I was there and have all the books, t-shirts, CD’s, DVD’s, etc. to prove it. The massive amounts of Biblical teaching that I have gleaned that was suppose to bolster my faith is nearly unfathomable.

The scripture states in James 2:17, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” Those inspired words written by James, brother of Jesus, came alive to me after many internal struggles trying to figure out why my faith didn’t feel like life to me. Why did my faith not look like the speakers’ described? Why would I go home after every conference and always be the same. What I now know is that I was operating on a “dead” faith.

Yes, I knew my Savior and He was my Lord, but until I put feet to my faith it didn’t seem like the life all the speakers had implored me to risk in. Once I began to step out and act on the faith things began to click and make sense in my heart and mind. When I gave to a struggling family clothes and food I began to understand how He provides for me…my faith was engaged! As I forgave even when it was not asked I could see the mercy of God exuded in me…my faith was lit! And the time I was able to love the person that has hurt me time and time again can only be done when a faith is engaged and Christ’s love is fueled…my faith was alive!!!

I hope you can see it is possible to sit on the sidelines, a saved believer with a faith that has never been engaged and made alive. I did not want to live my Christian walk in the realm of those that just don’t “get it”. I wanted a complete, fully working faith that is alive and well! Is your faith alive or dead? Have you put feet to your faith?

James 2:20-24 “You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.”

Leigh Gray
wife, momma, speaker, writer, fun-starter!
www.leighhargisgray.blogspot.com

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January 30, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith- Day 1: Dealing With Pain

Hey there!
I hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday.

Well, today we OFFICIALLY start 30 Days of Faith:) – I introduced the project with my friend, Cady’s blog post ” You and Me”“,
which if you haven’t read it; you will want to re-read it over and over. It’s just one of them REALLY deep words of wisdom.
And regardless of what you believe, I KNOW you will enjoy it:)

Day 1- Dealing with Pain.

First off let me say, that even though you see a list to your right of people writing for ” 30 Days Of Faith”, it was Cady’s idea that I would also write all 30 days as well. So what you will see is a a little post from me in regards to faith, and then I will lead you to the next blog post.

We all have pain in our lives, and its funny, because I can hear the echo of ” Lean On Me” in the back of my mind as I write this. But maybe that’s really what it comes down to; we deal with pain; by LEANING on somethingelse.

What do you, or have you lean on to get you through pain?

If you are someone who believes in God more than likely you will answer, ” Oh that’s easy, I lean on Jesus.” but REALLY,
can you REALLY say that is the case? Do you REALLY and TRULY believe that in EVERYTHING that you face in your life?

More than likely though, we’ve all leaned on some sort of addiction.

As a teenager I was a cutter, I shielded my pain by cutting deep inside of myself, where that pain would stay and hide from the rest of the world. Where I could keep it close enough…that I could CONTROL it.
I’ve done the malnourished thing too; I would eat no more than 500 calories a day, to CONTROL what I looked like on the outside.
As an adult, I’ve had a miscarriage, and ate through my pain, CONTROLLING Who I had become.
I’ve done the drinking too; and it was to CONTROL how I felt on the inside.

There are other ways people deal with pain too. And most don’t see it as an addiction, but I TOO have fell into this.

you can’t CONTROL people. You can’t CONTROL what they think of you. You can’t CONTROL what they say about you. You can’t CONTROL what they DO to you…You can’t CONTROL how they FEEL about you…

All these ” addictions” are just merely a temporary shield from pain deep inside.

I had to learn on my own, face down on the floor in a puddle of tears that I wasn’t here on earth to live with pain,
I was here to deal with it.

There is a difference.

I would like to use my mom for an example here. She has Chron’s disease, and I’ve watched her DEAL with it since I was 3 years old.
She actually had some health issues arise recently, but it didn’t stop her from driving 4 hrs to see me and help me with somethings here where I live. She’s never let herself REMEMBER that she was sick. And whenever it did hit her, whenever she was in severe pain. I would watch her just take a pain pill from her doctor and go on with her day.
My mom has always had amazing strength in dealing with her pain.

We need to see that as a real example, only we need to see that God is more in control of how we think, feel, about ourselves then we could ever be.

I know even though my mom takes the pain medication, that God is the one that ultimately takes the pain away.

I stopped cutting when I realized that the pain I felt on the inside would quickly come to the surface when I took a look at my arms. And I would hear God’s voice saying, ” There is no reason for you to do this, who cares what these people think
about you, or did to you…I AM STILL HERE FOR YOU.”

I started eating normally when I realized that I had no energy for anything I loved to do, and my thoughts and feelings
were always completely negative, it made me depressed and just apathetic towards life. Everything.

After the miscarriage, and beings that I was a Christian, it was very hard for me to find that place with God that I had been in before. I felt like He was looking down at me and pointing fingers like I felt the rest of the world was doing.
But one day I was sitting down and I just said aloud, ” God I want to start from scratch.” and it seems it is all it took,
right away things started to change…my attitude changed. By saying what I had I had chosen to accept that I made a mistake, but what happened to me, it wasn’t a mistake. God was teaching me that things happen I may not understand, but its for a greater purpose than I can see. Day by day it got better.

I stopped drinking so much, because it would only make me feel drained and bitter the next day. It ultimately took away my personality and made me gain tons of weight. I was to lethargic to do anything.
So now when I drink, I have a glass of wine, and I am tired, ready for bed.

Bottom line. We cant’ CONTROL our pain, we just have to NOT let it CONTROL us.
We have to find things in our lives that make us smile.
For me, its blogging like this, its spending time with friends that love the same things I do,
its looking outside and seeing a beautiful creation, and then going out my front door to experience it.

My faith has taught me to deal with pain. It’s always going to be in my pocket. It’s apart of me. But it isn’t apart of my life to the extent that it keeps me from LIVING it.

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January 28, 2010

LSOF: 30 Days Of Faith: The Intro:)

WELCOME TO 30 DAYS OF FAITH!!!!

What is ” faith” to you?
Has what you believe connected you with other people that believed differently?
What has this ” faith” done for you?

These are just a few questions that were placed in my mind as I thought about this project, as
well as the questions I threw out there to the writers.
At the conclusion, March 1st 2010, I will be giving my own answers to these questions, until then
I am looking forward to seeing how this project can affect blogworld…to see how far it reaches others,
regardless of what they are going through; to see how it might have stung a response in a heart to be spoken that hasn’t
in years…I am so excited for the response from everyone’s posts!!!

So here for the intro post-
I would like to introduce to you my friend, Cady McClain who I am sure you might know who she is, but the purpose of this project is about how we can all connect, regardless of belief, or really in her case, even position.
Cady has become a very good friend of mine, whom I have never met face to face, but the conversations we have had about faith have been so interesting. From the first email, to the very most recent, I can tell you that we believe differently on what we consider “faith” to be, but we left that far behind long ago.
We realize we are both writers, and that we both just have a deep rooted passion to see good things happen in this world. We can also share in some struggles. Those things alone are how we connect, and we respect what the other believes, and value what we can learn from the other. God connects us where we are, whoever we are.
Cady isn’t the only friend I’ve had that I can say that about, but definitely one of the few I’ve most connected with.

So please go take a look now at her post” You and Me” and feel free to comment.

Thanks for reading and taking part everyone!

Angie

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January 25, 2010

LSOF: Rooted and Uprooted

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I am sitting here writing this as I look out my window and view the forest. It rained and the wind blew heavily last night, so there are puddles everywhere; water has surrounded a good batch of trees.

I remember during the hurricanes in Florida. The ground would be come so saturated, and the wind would blow so hard,
that it would literally uproot the trees and they would fall to the ground.

Have you ever been uprooted?

When the roots were in the ground: life going well, great people in your life, job going well, family so close, you had a great church, or just a perfect place to go where you could ease your mind, and your focus could just be on God, and the life you were living?

When the roots could no longer hold: People you thought you trusted in your life turned their back on you, family situations became really bad, a church you attended you can no longer face, your job on the line, a child goes wayward,
and you really began to feel ” suffocated” by the deep waters around you.

I was reading the book of Job this morning. And this guy so had his share of just constant pain and anguish in his life.
He was actually considered blameless in the sight of God. And one day Satan came and asked God if he might try to prove that Job wasn’t as blameless as thought. God allowed Satan to test Job; he allowed him to test him as long as he spared his life.

Job’s family, and his servants all died in tragedies, and everything was one thing after another, and his wife saw what was going on in the beginning and told Job to curse God, but he refused.

THAT TAKES FAITH.

As I read on in Chapter 9-13 or so, it was just so interesting to me how many times his friends would tell him what their idea of how God was, and everything, but even though Job was just in so much turmoil; he still kept the truth right at his side.
He spoke up to his friends, he did defend God. I thought that was really interesting, but such a lesson to all of us as well.
And actually, his friends were just as lost as he was.
One friend was all about saying that is was because of sin that their was suffering…Job knew this wasn’t true
Another friend said it was about humility, and that if Job would accept his suffering as sin, that He would be okay,
but the issue was the Job didn’t believe his suffering was a result of sin.
And yet another friend spoke that Job didn’t have the right to complain about his suffering, because he believed traditionally
that the sin was just…that basically Job had no right to question…
That’s so wrong!

Job 14:7
” At least there is hope for a tree;
If it is cut down, it will sprout again,
and its new shoots will not fail.
Its roots may grown old in the ground
and its stump die in the soil,
yet at the scent of the water, it will but and
put up shoots like a plant.”

but then he adds this,

Job 19:10
” He tears me down on every side until I am gone,
he uproots my hope like a tree…”

These two verses are interesting, because you can just see the fight that Job is having with God,
and he is SO confused, in one instance he believes that God will bring hope to a tree and help it flourish,
and in another he compares himself to being uprooted like a tree.

I very much believe that he speaking of himself here; his world around him, People perhaps, or things in his past.
Let me suggest to you that perhaps Job in his anguish was trying to make sure God heard him,
and also that perhaps he was trying to also make his friends just leave him be.

In any case, this story though very rough to read, it makes such a good point.

Job may have had faith in God from the beginning, but something we have to realize is that God is never done teaching us.
We all have something He wants to teach us about our lives. Especially if He sees we are in a comfort zone.

I have experienced so much since I’ve moved to Georgia.

This past week alone has been such a learning experience.
God really felt I needed to learn something.

I have been so lonely, and just didn’t have anyone here really.
I almost went out with my roommate and her friends one night, but I pulled up in the driveway
after work and sat there saying to God, ” Lord, I don’t think you want me to go there.”
Well, I was probably right. Because I would have felt uncomfortable, and would have had
to drink to be comfortable. I shouldn’t have to drink to feel comfortable around people.
Its important that while I am here in Georgia now, that my foundation is set. And that did not include going to a club until 2am.

Something you should know if you don’t. There is no set time that God says to obey Him or not obey Him, we must always obey Him. He knows we are going to mess up, but we don’t want to get ourselves so far that we are an uprooted tree.
We can knock ourselves down on our own.

We need a firm foundation to keep ourselves going.

I had to get out of the living situation I was in for many reasons.
I had been looking for a place to rent.
And then I went to bible study tuesday night; My friend Lori told me I would enjoy it.

Another girl had just started coming to the church, and in conversation just mentioned
her roommate and she were looking for a third roommate.
My mouth dropped wide open.
I was at the study for a reason that night.

Its always so interesting if you look back on the timeline and can sort of see the battle between God and Satan with our lives.
Even though I had found a place to live, stuff was still happening that wasn’t so great.

My tire was flat when I came out of work, I found out the next day that someone had gouged a hole in the sidewall.
The night after that I had planned to move some stuff over, but was really tired…and due to other reasons, I found myself
moving EVERYTHING to the new place. My pastor, a sweet lady from my women’s group, my new roommate all were moving
me to my new place. We did it in 4hrs!

My foundation wasn’t just being set in a new home that night, its been being set since I’ve moved here. God just started showing me little bits what He had planned.

If you have been following this journey it all began truly beginning of 2009 to now…and looking back, I can’t believe all that God has done.

I love my new church, I love the people, and am really connecting with quite a few of them.

I remain teachable.
We all have to.

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January 18, 2010

LSOF: Finding value in who we are, where we stand right now

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I remember when I worked at a pawn shop a few years ago. Besides giving people money, we would also sell the products that were either sold to us(people who couldn’t afford to pay off their debt), or purchased brand new to sell.
One of the key items were ” diamonds”
Jewelers would come into our shop with their loupes in hand, and they would examine every diamond we had in our cases.
When they saw one that didn’t look ” clear” enough, they would tell me to put it back in the case and they would continue on their search for their ” perfect” diamond.

What was always so interesting to me is how much value we place on clear diamonds, when the pieces we see that are inside a diamond are natural and beautiful in their own way. The black specs that are found inside the diamond, were created deep inside the earth. Yet, somehow people are only interested in ” flawless” diamonds.

It’s a little concerning though if you think about it, because we have been taught as a society that ” flawless” is better, in so many aspects. Its something that as plastic surgery, and botox has emerged that we should really be concerned at what our children are seeing.

” There is a pretty girl on the face of the magazine, and all I see is my dirty hands turning the page.” -Jewel

We have to learn to look beyond what can be seen on the outside of things, and look deeper.

Sometimes if you look close enough, the diamond can have other stones like; garnet, peridot, and ruby inside them.
And if you just look at a diamond and assume its just black carbon…you might miss out on something more beautiful anyway.

It’s the way we really need to start seeing ourselves, we can learn a lot if we picture ourselves as diamonds created deep within the earth, and naturally beautiful.

We need to stop letting our situations and our past define who we say we are.

In the book of Ruth, there is a woman named Naomi, who actually says allowed, ” Dont’ call me Naomi, call me Mara”
Mara means ” Bitter”. Right then and there she decided she would call herself a pretty negative name.
And it was all, because she was bitter of the things she had suffered in her life.

How different are we from Naomi? How many times have we said something even as simple to ourselves
as ” stupid”, or ” I am so dumb”, or ” I am never going to be like that,” or ” I’m not that smart…” or something
more extreme as, ” my life sucks”, or ” I am so depressed.”

My mentor told me once, ” Unless you tell yourself that you are something…it won’t be true.”

So let’s stop with the negativity already, let’s take ourselves as we are, and maybe start with are actual names.

My name is Angela, and in the greek it means, ” Messenger from God”. I know I am not an angel by any sense of the word,
but I do know that I have purpose in my life, and that it is bigger than I am. WE ALL HAVE THAT!
I am told my name was supposed to be ” Marisa”, but I don’t believe it was an accident. No matter what
people call you…the truth of who you are does exist in the name you were given.

I was talking to a friend the other night and I learned that in some cultures the name you are given is something that is prophesized over your life, because its who you were meant to be.

So the name you were given…does your life represent that?

Take a look at the book of Matthew 16:13-17

In the scene Jesus is asking the question, ” Who do you say I am?”
The disciples answer with answers ” John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah…etc.”

Jesus then looks over at Peter, and asks him the question directly, ” Who do you say that I am?”
and Peter replies without hesitation, ” You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Peter knew who Jesus really was, not just because of signs and miracles, but because in His heart He saw this
man was so different.

Jesus goes on to say in verse 18, And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

Peter actually comes from the greek word, ” Petras” and it means, ” the rock”
So Jesus wasn’t not only telling Peter what He had planned for his life, but He put emphasis on Peter’s name.

So today I ask that you might take a look where you are standing, and look around you….what sort of life are you living?
Are you happy with who you are, and if you are not…WHY?

If you don’t believe you are living a life you were meant to live, and that you are the person you are meant to be…
then look at your own name…

From there you will find that our life purpose is known to us, and also that beauty can be found in our imperfections.

You are perfect being who you are.

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January 12, 2010

LSOF: Writing our way to faith

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Something that has been sort of a realization to me over the last few weeks as I have really spent a lot of time with God, and just writing.
It is through my writing, that God reveals Himself to me.
I am naturally a pretty “hyper” person. I let my life consume me at times. So when I need to be praying to God…I often can’t get myself to really fall to my knees until I have sat down and just wrote through the day I experienced. I have actually found through the hardest years I have had in my life, I’ve gone back and seen that even though those times were horrible, I saw in my journals how I clung to my faith through it. It was really quite a surprise to me.
I think we sometimes regardless of what we go through if we have ever experienced, hope or faith, that it is always with us; We just forget that its there.
God didn’t create this world to just have pain, and suffering, but love and joy. Sometimes though, we forget that love and joy exist, because we let our pain and suffering overpower us.
That is why I write, because I want to remember that those things exist, I want to remember that there is a crazy world out there, but there is peace within me. It humbles me and reminds me that I don’t have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders alone, and that the daily demands and things that happen in my life…its apart of life, and as sad as that is to know, it helps me to see that being a slight bit different in who I am in my heart, can be a huge difference in the world.
Something just speaks to me as I write, and I know it a lot of times, because tears just start falling. I remind myself that what I feel at that time, its real, its genuine, and that there are so many people out there in the world, that just don’t know how to feel. I think this helps me to remember.
I never want to write anything that doesn’t have purpose. We got enough junk going out into the world as it is. People forget what real meaning is really out there. I mean how many songs are on the radio that really have depth and beauty? Not many.
I guess I am a girl that should have been born in an earlier time of history. I love Carole King, James Taylor, Linda Rondstadt, Fleetwood Mac(specifically Stevie Nicks), and just so many more. I love them, because they had unreachable depth in their music.
One of my favorite Carole King songs starts out, ” You’ve got to get up in the morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart.” or James Taylor ” Shower the people you love with love..” Linda Rondstadt, ” Life isn’t easy, love never lasts, you just carry on and keep moving fast..” I love I love Stevie Nicks, and Fleetwood Mac ” Leather and Lace”, ” After the glitter fades”, ” Landslide”, and ” Has anyone ever written anything for you.” and I love modern music artists like, ” Enya, Sarah M, Jewel, Nichole Nordeman, Joss Stone, Nora Jones the most… I guess you can say I best moved by music. It just takes my soul back to the level it should be, and then the writing can begin. When I listen to music I can visualize a story, I can add to the lyrics as I listen to them being played.
Writing is a key to who we are on the inside. I think its where we truly live.
I once visualized a story of a girl who had scrapes and bruises all over her body, and a girl who was just so depressed and saddened by her life sat down next to her. They got talking and realized they connected, because of their pain, the only difference was only one was strong enough to show their pain on the outside. God can teach us through our own writing.
If anything, my desire for people is to try to write a little and see what it does for them. I know most people are against writing how they feel, because there is the pride inside them that tries to tell them, ” You are fine, life is perfect, you have nothing to write about.” but really, that is a lie we tell ourselves to get through the day.
When you are alone, do you really think that?
The truth is, we can’t escape ourselves. We just need to accept that thing happen in our lives, that we will go through fire, but that it doesn’t last forever.

My friend Cady(www.cadymcclain.com) and I have been through a great deal in our lives, but we both understand the importance of looking deep inside yourself, And we may have different views on faith, but healing also comes from what we learn about ourselves through others. We are all in this together, and God connects us where we are:)
Because of this, I was inspired to start a project called, ” 30 Days Of Faith”- which more details will come later.
So until then, please go take a look at her blog post called,“You and Me”….

Remember the importance to stay true to yourself in even what you write.

It isn’t always easy to pick up a pen to paper, but take it one day at a time, and eventually words will flow on the paper. Just remember to be real with yourself when you write, don’t hide how you are feeling.
And if you find this to hard…think this way:
Writing is a way we get that prayer to God, that we just can’t get ourselves to speak.

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