I decided to work out some the other day, I was all about it. I got on the treadmill and started to so a manual track.
It was 15 min. It didn’t seem like the same 15 min I usually walk. This time I sweat a little.
But the thing I clearly remember about it was everytime I touched my hands to the bar it would show my heart rate.
It was to let me know how my heart was taking the exercise.

I had a very trying night. Its the kind of night that you can’t help but want to put your head in your hands and just bawl.

Sometimes there isn’t anything more you personally you can do to make a day better. You can’t say the right things, or do enough. Sometimes you just can’t FEEL enough. Tonight was like that.

There is a song by Nichole Nordeman called, ” The Altar” and it just cuts to the core of how I feel when I am desperate for God just to hear what I am going through.

Here is the song lyrics:
I’m at the end of myself, I just dropped out of the running
I don’t recall when I last pulled the shades and said “here comes the sun, here comes the new day”
Someone remind me again that joy might show up on occasion
I’m sitting here with my hands on my head, and my eyes on the ground, wondering if I’ll be found by You

Will you make me new? Will you take what’s left of me?
I guarantee that it won’t be a fair trade.
Will you set me free from what’s keeping me afraid?
I know I’ve prayed it all before, but I’m back on the altar

Will you take what’s left of me?
I guarantee that it won’t be a fair trade
Will you set me free from what’s keeping me afraid?
I know I’ve prayed it all before
But I’m back
On the altar

I want to say to you, whoever you are out there reading this. That even if you believe or don’t believe in God, out of your desperation in prayer, I can promise you from what I know in my own life. The right one will be listening.

I am at a place right now, where yes, I’ve said Job is my BFF, because its such a teaching time right now, but during a situation the decision was set in my soul, ” There is nothing more YOU can do in this situation.”
I have to completely rely on God to settle this thing however He chooses. My hands HAVE to be be OFF!

Its not such a comfort to let God just handle things in our lives, but when we’ve done all we can we know we are desperate, and in the desperation we shall find our test of faith. How long it takes to take off the control.

The song I was telling you about, it hits to the core of how I am feeling, because it is me sharing with God how strong my faith is in Him. In my desperation I can say that, because I keep trying to put my hands back on the thing I am dealing with, God keeps taking His hands off.

We have to be desperate enough for God to take control, that we leave our hands off!

I don’t know if you are dealing with something similar today, but just know I know He hears our prayers, He hears our cries, He hears everything we say and do. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Let’s be desperate for Him, Let’s have a faith of desperation.

My next guest post is by my very best friend in the world Katherine Bagocki. I have known Kat since we were in junior high.
She has seen everything I’ve been through, and vice versa. I am thankful to have her apart of my life, because its
lonely being crazy without someonelse sharing in it:) Please take a look at her blog post. She likeCady, also has different views on faith, but again, we connect so well in our differences. I am blessed by her friendship everyday:) Love you Kat!

I should start out by saying that I do not attend church. The reason is not
because I don’t believe in God, but that I don’t agree with organized religion.
For some people it works; for me it does not. I was raised in the chruch and I
attended through high school. After that, I decided that I was going to work to
understand how I felt without being told how I should. Chruch did not provide
me with the answers that I sought. I read the Bible cover to cover over and
over again. I looked up things that I needed claification on. I researched. I
learned and embraced. Some people I know give me a hard time because I do not
go to church. But the Bible says when two or more people gather together in His
name, then He is there. I believe this, and I practice this. I was raised
Methodist. If you ask me now what I am, well, I don’t know what I’d say. Maybe
I practice Agnostic Theism – defined by wikipedia as the view of those who do
not claim to know of the existence of any deity, but still believe in such an
existence. I can’t tell anyone that God exists 100%, but I still believe that
there is definitely something/one greater out there. I’ve wittnessed miracles.
I’ve seen the unexplained. And I see beauty everywhere that cannot be chalked
up to just science. I don’t know how I view the Bible – is it really God’s
word, or a bunch of stories written by men to tell us the histories of God and
Jesus but with their own twists? There are some consistancies where history and
the Bible collide, and you can tell some things were written for specific
groups. But on the whole, I do believe that it is a wonderful tool to
understanding God. I do not believe, however, that the words written are set in
stone; that things are to be left to our interpretation. I have studied many
religions and there is an underlying theme of goodness and love. I read the
Bible and I believe that God guides my heart as I do. I believe in the
discussion of the stories to bring further understanding; I do not believe in
being TOLD what they mean. Faith is our own, to embrace as we feel is just and
right. No one can tell us how our heart should feel and how our personal
relationship with God should be. We were given free will for a reason, and I
believe in the right to exercise it. There are so many steps in my faith that
it would very difficult to explain it all. Do I think I will be punished for
not following organized religion? No, I don’t. I have my reasons, and I know
God understands. I love to discuss religion and faith, and I love the feelings
that I get when read certain stories and passages in the Bible. I’ve questioned
God, I’ve hated God, and I’ve asked God for forgivness and mercy. I’ve stopped
asking Him for specifics – I now just ask for His will to be done and for me to
be brave enough to accept what He decides. I know that I am a good person, with
good values and good morals. I am loving, caring and blessed. I am humble and
afraid. I don’t believe that my faith has anything to do with my religion and I
get very upset when someone questions that. God knows us as ourselves, our
individualities make Him proud. I don’t believe in cookie cutter religion and I
don’t believe that because someone goes to church that they are faithful.
Faith is our own – not to be questioned, judged or taught. Faith is ours to
create and embrace. Faith is something we treasure and we protect. And faith
is what we rely on when we have nothing else. And in the end, what else matters
but what we really and truly believe in our hearts, our minds, our entire
being?”