LSOF: The Dying of Self….” It’s Not ABOUT Me.”

Everything is a process in this life. Everything has its beginnings, and Everything has an end.
We learn something new everyday about the life around us, and about ourselves.
We are constantly thinking of how to improve something about our lives, or personally.
We struggle to try to either conform to what seems attractive, or stray from what just loses its luster.
We think the grass is always greener in the life of the person standing in front of us,
We want what we think we need, but most of the time our wants are far from what we actually need.
” The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not be in want.”
Simply put we could say this verse means, there isn’t reason to follow anything other than God.
It simply means that our wants and our needs are not found far from the Lord.
They are at His feet ready for Him to hand to us.
If it is HIS will.
I personally have been humbled by this recently.
I have thought for years that the Lord wanted me to be a communicator that would speak all over the world, like Beth Moore, or Anne Graham Lotz.
I have had people tell me I need to be prepared for when the Lord has me ready to speak.  So many were ” certain” this was my calling.
I AM a communicator in blogging, but I always thought I was meant to take it further.
But saying you want to become something and then becoming it…
They are two different things.
It isn’t about what we want.
Instead, the Lord showed me that I was not to teach, but that I would be that encouragement behind those teaching.
That I would help others connect, that I would help others really see their potential.
I am the person who can contact the “right” people, and I am that person that will link arms with others
and stay close to them and let them know I am there for whatever they need.
It was quite humbling to say the least, but at the same time, it took the focus off of MY wants, MY needs, MY Desires….
and instead what the Lord wanted for me.
Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near [He is coming soon].
( Philippians 4:5, Amplified)
I had a really good friend share this verse with me the other day, she has been with me as I’ve journeyed on this time of what is called
” Dying of Self”- and my friends, its been more that just the realization of my true calling that has humbled me.
I have been selfish in so many areas. But I won’t allow myself to feel shame…Grace remains.
I have thought in the back of my mind for years that because I had a mom that was sick that I would one day be entitled
to a better life. That the Lord would bless me because of what I’ve been through….
Well, I resented my mom as a child for having the illness, and I didn’t receive the better life until I allowed grace
to teach me I can’t measure how things will turn out by what I want,
I am not entitled to a better life because of what I’ve been through, I am privileged to live in a life where there
is possibility to receive blessings only because the Lord loves me. Only because I choose to give grace in the
same way it was freely given on the cross to me.
I have also recently thought about removing myself from Facebook and Twitter, because they are no longer
a place to connect with people…it used to be that way, but now it is just a place to ” instagram” the latest
food cravings, or items one bought at the store to show ” status”.
It has become a place that is full of ” LOOK AT ME.”
And I admit that I have shamefully been part of it.
I have been encouraged because a comment was liked on my Facebook status,
It has made me smile to see someone retweet what I said, or favorited it.
But really, Facebook LIKES and RETWEETS on Twitter don’t mean anything to God.
I am not glorifying Him by receiving a Facebook or Twitter notification.
It has been brought to my attention so much recently that we have allowed ourselves to become
” makeshift” Christians, we believe, we receive, and we teach by what sounds ” good” to others.
We have forgotten what it really means to please the Lord.
I have been reading some of Phillip Yancey’s book ” Prayer” and one part of it really struck me,
Because our selflishness has made us miss out on what God wants for us.
” Advances in science and technology no doubt contribute to our confusion about prayer. In former days,
farmers lifted their heads and appealed to brazen heavens for an end to drought. Now we study low-pressure
fronts, dig irrigation canals, and seed clouds with metallic particles. In former days when a child fell ill the parents
cried out to God; now they call for an ambulance or phone the doctor.”
What spoke to me reading this is we have learned to create our own miracles, we create and control our own outcome.
We don’t pay attention to the miracles God wants to do in our lives, we don’t because we dont’ want to WAIT
for Him to work.
It’s our selfishness of wanting everything NOW, because everything around us is happening NOW.
We want, what we want…and it we don’t think we will like it, we don’t pray about it anymore,
we just make decisions on impulse and eventually have the capacity to become complete
trainwrecks.
But we forget that what we DO does not determine what God DOES.
And we should be grateful He knows we are selfish, but that because we are His children
He still blesses us.
I have the most amazing church, and I have been given a mentor that could only be from the Lord Himself,
and it wouldn’t have happened if I would allowed myself to stand in the way of going back after
I judged my first visit…which I found a week later, was JUST a visitor speaking.
Regardless, I jumped from church to church on impulse, and had I not filled out the visitor card,
I would not have received the phone call to meet the Pastor and his wife.
I could go on and on about this, but I will just end in saying, we should be thankful for grace,
that it doesn’t leave us who we are, that the Lord wants more for us then we could ever
think up for ourselves.
But we need to die of ourselves, and live in Him daily.
Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
(Matthew 10:25)
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
(Matthew 16:24)

 

 

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