LSOF: Fear of Feeling
I hope you have had a moment to sit and reflect on the joy of the Lord today my friends.
I had the chance to have such a moment filled with the presence of God at church this morning.
However, I will be honest and tell you, I almost didn’t make it into the building.
The reason was after all the things that happened this week, after all the praying, crying, talking, and thinking back; I was quite worn emotionally.
I didn’t want to ” feel” anything more.
Have you ever felt the same way? Did something in your life, whether the outcome was good or not as good, ever get you to the point that you had enough of ” feeling” the scenes that happened?
Where you just laid in bed telling yourself, ” I don’t want to deal with anything more today.” and just long to pull the covers back over your face.
Yep, well, that was me for sure.
But then again, I laid there and thought about it. ” Feeling” emotion, ” Feeling” God move was the reason I didn’t want to be there?
For me, I felt like I had slapped God right in the face. So I got myself out of bed, pulled on a pair and jeans and black shirt, and rushed to church, 5 min before it started.
It would be right to say that not wanting to ” feel” was an act of the Enemy. Using my past wounds to lead me.
My Dear friends, Do not let ” feeling” things in your life affect your relationship with God, or anyone for that matter.
I cried through the entire service, to the point I could hardly see the screen. And that was okay.
I had a lot to praise God for, and we really all do. Sometimes without knowing.
I pictured my past, conversations with some people in particular. My tears came from the appreciation I had for my God, for bringing those people into my life, to help me seek His face.
The fact that even when my face was turned from God, He used those special people to tap me on the shoulder, and lead me back to Him.
One of those people had a sudden health concern, which turned out to be nothing at all. And the reason I cried so much, was because I know the legacy that they have already left in the eyes of God, and what I know to be true in my heart.
in shifting gears for a moment. Have you ever tried to be or act more ” Christiany” ?
We all have, but for those people that really know you, that God brought into your life, BELIEVE ME, God already let them in on who you really are, no matter how different you try to be or act. Jesus changed your life, and that is all that matters!
You don’t have to feel like you aren’t as wise as your Pastor, or praise enough like the person who sits behind you at church, God can use you just as you are, and ” feeling” is just that, a feeling, and emotions can be a trick of the Enemy.
What I felt today wasn’t just emotion, it was the Holy Spirit. Who I am so thankful that God gave us after the crucifixion of Jesus.
Children of God, let us not be numb to God’s presence, like we have learned to be.
Let every experience you have with God, be like the first time you ever knew His face!