What Happened to ?
I have always been a pretty imaginative person, since I was very young.
But now I look back, at twenty-six in a half years, and I wonder if I lost apart of it some part of the way.
I ask myself, why I let it go? Was it for me, or for everyonelse?
You come to the point in life where you have to keep a little bit of your imaginary perceptions at hand, otherwise, life can be just to unbearable.
I think there is nothing wrong with laying down on the ground and picturing images in the clouds.
As a child, the difference from then to now, I thought the images I could see was heaven, that I was staring right at it.
Could I be so wrong?
I’ve always been a kind of person to take a glance furher into everything. Yet, as I have gotten older I realize I only see as far as I have time.
I wake up in the morning, I get ready for work, and then I cram every thought and aspiration in my purse until the end of the day. By the time I get home, I just want to throw my shoes off, eat some dinner, watch some TV, and maybe get online for a few minutes before I get to sleep.
I feel something stirring in me though, its inspiration to write something, I know it, and I ignore it, because it’s 9:30am, and I will be getting up for church in a moment.
We have man-made expectations. People have them for us, and we have them for ourselves.
I look back as the movie, ”,” and even though it is complete nonsense, if you read into it, you can see meaning.
” In my world, everything would be nonsense, nothing would be what is, because everything would be what it isn’t, and contrarywise, what it is, it wouldn’t, and what it would be, it would,”
Analyzing that, I have to tell you in Alice’s own way, she was trying to say that her world would be about how she wanted to see things, and that nothing on earth could just take it from her.
Some parts of who we are, were built since childhood.
Think of the way you laugh. Any difference from when you were younger? Can you think back at the first time you truly laughed hard?
Can you think of the first time you were younger that you really cried? How different our your tears now?
Do you remember coloring in the lines for the first time.
Did you ever stop to think that you carried that with you to now?
The truth is as some wise friend showed me, was that just because the light disappears, doesn’t mean that it is gone; rather, it is merely hidden by darkness.
Who we are, we think we are some brand new image to the earth, that we woke up this morning being differnet people, but we are the same person we were when we were children, just a little corrupted by reality.
I’m not saying that we are supposed to spend all day looking at clouds, talking to imaginary friends, coloring in a book, or watching a child’s movie.
I am saying to try to think back, and rememeber the truth of who you were back then, and see how much you could bring to the surface at the age you are now.
God made us the way he chose. He knew how we would be as children, so why have we changed so much that we have left all of it in the past?
I don’t know about you, but I have been looking back on even some old writing; and I think, ” Wow, I this was good.”
I think my heart said back to me, ” Was. Why did you say was?” I am the same person that wrote it, and I can make something better if I just was still to think
I am proud to be me, God definitely made me complex, but I know I do bring color to this world. Some can except it, some can’t. But all the while, in my world, there should still be somekind of nonsense.
I hope you can say the same for yourself.
” In the stillness of the moment,
something cries out of the darkness,
the direction is inward.” – Angie Sarich, ” Sudden Desperation”
Feel free to stop by and read my devotional site:-)
Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect.