LSOF: ” Have a little faith in me “
Luke 17:6 (NIV)
“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you. “
My head laid there on the couch pillow looking out the window to a dreary day, my eyes were fresh from tears, and my heart felt like it had not only been broken, but stepped on until maybe a little piece remained.
” I’d let the world do this to me. ” I said to myself.
I had never been like most people; I go the extra mile to do what I can to help make a difference in their day.
Somehow it backfired in my face.
I was upset, because people that I so dearly cared for, and had been there for a dozen times, were not there when I really needed someone to talk to, when I just needed a shoulder.
I was upset, because though I knew I show great integrity with my job, yet still being let go, I didn’t have another one lined up.
It was hopeless.
I spend the entire day of just starting, and the tears just pouring. I wanted God to just take me, because I couldn’t see ahead.
My mom handed me the phone, and a good friend was on the other line. I really didn’t want to talk, I couldn’t have the conversation without bawling, because the suffering was real, and I could no longer put on an act, the emotion took over my sound mind.
I decided that I would go up north for the summer until school started, and just be as far away from here as possible, run away for a little bit, but not forever.
I made the ticket reservations, and text messaged some people to let them know I was going and when I’d be back.
I got a text message back from an old manager, that has stayed in contact with me over the last couple years, ” I am going to need you to work before then.”
I stared wide-eyed at the screen, and could only replyl, ” really?” and her reply was to call at 10:30pm.
I found out that she knew how badly I needed a job, and she told me that I always worked so great for her, that she pushed to get my application approved to be hired.
I said to God in my heart, ” You must have known” as if I actually had to say that!
The truth was, He did know, He knew very well how much hurting I have been through my entire life to this point. He is my beginning, and He is the now and end.
How is it we forget too easily that we have such a big God?
The answer is simple, because we out our faith in other things, without realizing it, or we make them idols without knowing it.
I remember just wanting someone to reach out, to be there when I needed them. When I got that phone call from my friend though, I didn’t feel any different. She wasn’t Jesus.
Beth Moore, spoke on this almost exact thing on Life Today this morning.
We may not call people Jesus, but we act like they are sometimes.
When you’ve been in a pit in your life, its hard to know how to see people, because you rarely experienced positive role models in your life.
I am 26yrs old, and those people that were there all through my young adult years, I almost feel like God is saying to me, ” They have led you, now let me.”
I am sure Beth had to have come to a point like that in her life, and if you are reading this you probably have to.
We all are being discipled, but just like Jesus, God will start to pull away not remove, just pull away, those people that have always been there. Always had the advice, always prayed in our place.
I will admit to you, that I was not only upset, but angry yesterday. When it comes down to it.
People are people, they will let us down, because they are not JESUS!
So if you may be reading this, as one of those people that know me, I want to apologize, because my focus now is going to be on God, and though I may need Godly counsel from good hearts, I will ask when I know for sure, I am to do so.
I gotta tell ya, this whole adult life, whole adult Christian life, there never is a dull moment;
God will just keep stretching us, until we can’t be stretched no more.
Amen to that!