” Lord I offer my life to you everything I’ve been through use it for your glory.”
– Don Moen lyrics
I have a question for you to ask yourself, and be completely honest, and take sometime before you give your answer.
Do a heart check.
” Do I honestly believe that everything that I have gone through is worth it?”
That sometimes can be a very tough question to answer, because when something happens to us, it happens to US, and its hard to really just say, ” Okay God I know this situation will make you shine, so I’ll be okay.”
Its hard sometimes when you find out something serious like an illness, and automatically someone will say, ” You will be such a testimony.”
My friend, whatever you might go through in life, it is going to be just plain tough, and letting go and giving it to God, might not always be how you feel.
I want you to know, that it is okay. He knows how you feel.
I was sitting outside today, and just began singing, ” Lord, I offer you my life.” and I can tell you
I clearly remember a time when I was at church and could only read the words with my eyes, but they weren’t sinking into my heart. How could they, I wasn’t ready to just ” give it to God.”
When you first become a new believer, most of the time you may feel invincible, that nothing can ruin how you feel, you are on top of the mountain, and praising God with every bone in your body..
In other words, you are Spiritually high.
The thing about it is, once you are on that mountain, you need to look around for a second. You need to notice the foundation you are standing on.
It might be a very beautiful mountain, and it might seem strong, but a mountain starts as a valley and rises up over time.
You will fall.
You need a strong foundation.
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
“See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;
the one who trusts will never be dismayed. “
Two words will help to make the point;
PRECIOUS, or ” YAQAR” in Hebrew means to VALUE.
SURE, or ” YACAD” also Hebrew means to ESTABLISH.
A stone of value placed on an established foundation. And who places it…God!
What this means to us is that once God has control of our situation, we are valued, and we are established,
In other words, We can move on. Or should I say, UP.
Phillip Yancey writes in his book, ” Reaching for an invisible God”, that it takes losing everything to gain anything. Faith is born out of doubt.
Think of your stone for a moment, are you feeling strong enough that if the same situation that brought you down before stopped by to visit? You wouldn’t fall?
I have learned through my own personal experiences, that feeling strong isn’t the same as actually being strong.
You can feel like anything; you can wake up feeling like your a chicken, or that you just won an emmy….but it doesn’t mean it true, right?
I have been told a thousand time that you can’t rely on what you feel, the heart is a wonderful part of who we are, but if the heart doesn’t have a good knowledge of common sense, it is useless in our fight.
For me, I have always tried to just ignore the situations I face, pretend they just don’t exist.
I wasn’t being honest with myself.
A friend of mine is going through such a hard time right now, she was a past cutter like me, but through a break up, she has decided the only way to deal is to start cutting again.
Because I have gone through it, and have been HEALED from it, I was able to say this to her.
” Why give yourselves scars that you feel was caused by others, it isnt worth it.”
She told me that it was the only outlet she had; and again because I have gone through it. I told her if it is absolutely the only outlet she could think of, and I did emphasize ” If its the only.” then I know I couldn’t stop her, but to just be careful.
I am sure some of you might be reading this and say I am insane to even let her; but when someone is in a state of panic in their lives there is very little you can say, you can only pray and pray and pray.
I recommended some verses and some books for her to read, it is her choice on what she decides to do.
I have to also caution you my dear friends, that if you have ever been a situation like that yourself, do not do a heart check to see if you are healed from it. YOU WILL GET PULLED BACK IN, take 10 steps backwards, however you want to look at it. You need to let someonelse take it from there.
Spirits travel, the good and BAD.
So again, it is all about the foundation, it starts with letting God be the builder, if we help build our lives, plans, and how to deal with things, we will surely fall everytime.
I don’t think I told anyone why I really came back to NJ for two weeks.
I had to deal with my Grandfather’s death, even though it was 8yrs ago, I had never really just let him go, and I needed to.
He will always be my ” Pop Pop” and I will always have memories of him, but trying to mention him as much as I can, and crying my eyes out whenever someone other than I mentioned him, truly wasn’t healthy.
I guess you might say I faced fears coming here. I feared losing him, and I feared this transitional phase of realing growing up how God wanted me to. The plans He has for me…
I knew it order to really figure things out, I had to go away.
Today I went to the cemetary, with a dozen roses, and I kissed his tombstone. I said my goodbyes, He is with God, He is safe, and He is proud of me.
I know all I need to know.