I just first want to say it was just so awesome to be able to write out and reflect on the people that I have been blessed by God just placing in my life; and I know that sometimes we have to look at where we have been to move forward.
So in saying that..
If you have followed this blog from these last few months you would easily and clearly see that God has taken me on a whirlwind journey;
I have been knocked down to my knees a few times, because I just have been in complete awe of everything He has done within and around me.
I absolutely loved being back at church yesterday; and I can almost say that and then say I am left speechless.
It was just so overwhelmingly awesome time of worship, and the message my Pastor gave, completely spoke volumes.
” Conversations with God”, (not based on the book), was the title of the message series, and my Pastor just shared with us his own times speaking with God.
He was put in his place, as God has done to many of us over the last few months.
” You are not prepared.” were words God spoke to his heart as he was getting ready to meet up with his family.
He then realized he was so excited to see his family that he had forgotten to acknowledge God that morning.
Interesting enough, God spoke something similar to me the night before, in a particular situation.
” You aren’t ready to be let go of yet.”
Something I shared with my friend the other day is just because we are healed in a major area of our life, it doesn’t mean it is the domino effect, and everything is perfect.
We still have those things that bother us from our past. They don’t all just shake away at once.
To better explain, I will use the story of what was going on with my cat recently.
I have a beautiful white cat, Boo. I was away for two weeks and everyone told me she was being taken care of, so I didn’t worry about her.
When I came home I called to her, and she didn’t come to me right away, I had to call her a few times until she heard me.
Her white fur was yellowish from sitting in the sun, and lying in the dirt.
She was a pitiful sight. I knew she needed a bath.
Of course, she fought me, and when I was finished, she wasn’t the only one that looked like had been bathed. I was so soaked.
I wrapped her up in a towel and just held her.
I decided not to let her outside for awhile, she had a lot of attack bites on her, and she just had her nails cut so she wasn’t ready to go back out anyways.
She stayed literally right next to me all night long, and even now is just lying on my bed.
She realized how much she needed me.
In correlation, Boo is like some of us sometimes, we don’t even see how much the world corrupts us, and makes us compromise what we believe on a daily basis.
It is why God speaks to our heart, and lets us know that we aren’t ready to take it on alone.
WE NEED HIM ALL THE WAY!
Like Boo, I still have my attack wounds. I need to trust God that He has the itinerary of my life and how long it will take for healing to be taken place in each area of my life, and yours as well I am sure.
So here I am, still on that journey, but I am so hopeful. I know that He knows the worst things about my past, and He has the eraser.
Its kind like in school some teachers will knock off the lowest scores, if you do well on the rest of them.
Maybe that is how God is too, maybe He keeps a file of everything we have gone through, and as we continue to seek Him and acknowledge we need Him, the more healing will come.
Not such a far thought.
But remember, we can’t just take on the past alone.
Just like an alcoholic can’t be left in a resturaunt that serves alcohol.
Temptation can easily get us back into our old ways.
I can tell you that God is giving me more responsibilities, and I know He is preparing me, and I am so excited about that.
But He is showing me slowly, because even in that little bit, He also knows pride can get to me so easily too.
I praise you Lord, for being such a God that looks into our hearts, and knows where we need to be healed, even when we can’t see it ourselves.
And I thank you Lord, for placing people in our path that keep us in line with you, and lead us closer to what you have called us to do.