UPDATE: If you have found this blog posting from a google search or something of that nature, before you read on, I think I should share with you out of respect for Beth and her family’s privacy that you should end your search here. Its just on my heart to share that.
My friends, I went to sleep last night with a very powerful story on my heart.
I was reading through, “ Things Pondered” by Beth Moore, and I came across a really
powerful part of her testimony. She had an adopted son, named Michael. And he came with a past. Beth and her husband found themselves one night going up to pray over the child while he slept as the very last thing they could think of to break the bondage of their family.
Then God spoke to her heart, “ Can you just love him?”
I think out of anything I have ever read by Beth, that has got to be the one thing that was like a dagger to my own heart, and maybe yours as well.
I haven’t had children yet, God willing, but I am a teacher, and remember a similar experience.
Her name was Katie, and she was in third grade at the time. She was such a beautiful little girl, blonde hair and came up to my shoulders in height.
I remember how much trouble the teacher I worked with and I had back remembering.
Katie was lost and she was a behavioral problem to the class.
She would sit under tables during class, and we wouldn’t dare move her, fearing to be smacked or screamed at. It wasn’t worth the risk.
And if the teacher would mark a bad grade on her work, she would walk up and rip it up
In front of her face.
I really had such a caring for her though, years later, she is still dear to my heart.
Even through her tantrums, and constant arguments; I saw she was a true child of God.
Not far from any of us.
She had a father that was in jail, which I found passed away a couple years ago.
And a mother that worked full-time, and just didn’t have the time for Katie.
I knew she needed a friend, I knew she needed God.
Obviously, because it was a public school, I wouldn’t be able to share Him with her, only through my actions.
In the end of the year, I stood amazed, seeing how much God had changed her.
I did a teaching assignment for my Education class, and I asked Katie if she would help me.
The deal was I had to teach her about the “ 9 planets” using an acronym.
Katie picked it up so quickly, and told her mom as soon as she got there.
One day, the teacher I had been helping was teaching Science to the class, and she used the exact same acronym. However, it wasn’t completely exact.
Katie raised her hand, “ Mrs. H, that isn’t how it goes.” And decided to share with her what it was supposed to be.
Mrs. H looked over at me, and smiled. I had gotten through to her. Even that little bit.
Katie has been around as I have been through job after job since then, and she still calls me, “ Miss Angie”. Whenever she sees me.
She is in an alternative school, but I know that she has so much potential to offer in this world, I don’t know what, but I know God, and He never ceases to amaze me.
I’ll just trust Him to take on her heart.
What about you though? I am sure there is someone in your life that is just SO hard to just love.
The most difficult for me, is loving those who you know wouldn’t receive it right away, that it takes more time than I have.
On that note, then I am speaking about my Grandmother, My dad’s mom.
She had a rough childhood, therefore so did my father.
At this moment, she is in a nursing home, living with schizophrenia.
My family hardly goes to see her, and she hardly calls us.
She just sits in the room there watching TV, and there is even an imprint of her head in the pillow. She wants nothing from life, and at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if she wants everything from life.
But doesn’t know how to show it.
And as I have began writing this devotional, God has asked me the same question,
“ Can I just love her?”
It’s 1:15pm, and maybe this is the day that I do, just love her.
I think of Jesus with Peter; I don’t believe Peter knew the extent of the love of Jesus, I am not sure he saw Jesus as anyone, but a good leader right away, and even after seeing the signs and miracles.
I don’t think that He really knew the extent of that love, until he saw Jesus holding onto the cross.
But Jesus loved him. As he loves any of us.
The story of Peter denying Jesus 3 times…WOW, that always knocks me down to the floor!
And it can bring us down to a whole another corridor..
Because I think if I really loved Jesus, then I wouldn’t let the world corrupt me, or discourage me from standing firm in my faith.
Even as far as writing the devotionals, there is only so much you can write by life experience, and then God will lead you to His word, and doing other reading, so you can see what life experience and life application really means.
Loving, and being loved, is never easy.
So next time maybe you are dealing with someone in your life, that is so hard to love, maybe including yourself.
Just think of Jesus on the cross, and hear Him whisper to your heart.
“ Can you just love? Because I know I can just love you.”