LSOF:” Sometimes you feel like a nut…”
I titled this the way I did, because recently I just got a confirmation that I was being spiritually attacked in an area that I thought was all me.
I feel so much better.
I am excited now, because the area that I was attacked hit real close to my heart this time;
and now I know that God has something major planned ahead.
Maybe the wilderness isn’t really one, maybe its just a mirage that is close in front of me, maybe if I look hard enough I can see straight through it.
God knows that scripture and I with my ADD, that I am not always going to have a verse pop into my head when He wants me to see something.
Usually He uses someone well known, and then it comes across.
“Who do you trust?” series that Beth Moore did on Life Today; is was one that amazingly spoke so close to me that I got chills.
Part 4 was all about where I have been. I have harbored distrust, and it’s the one sin that I have seemed to hold onto for quite a long time.
Distrust plain and simple; makes you bitter.
It makes you so bitter that even the people you love and care about don’t matter when your mind starts its storm. You hear the worst in everything.
I had a friend that just wanted to tell me something about myself that kinda bugged her at times; and I wasn’t in the “ right frame of mind”, so I heard the worst out of it. And then more lies from the Enemy just kept coming.
I let words burn me, that were never intended to.
We all make mistakes; I want to add something that we all should remember;
We are all sinners, there is nothing good inside of any of us, except Jesus.
It is SO the truth.
That statement applies to EVERYONE. Not just a certain few that may be dancing in your head right now.
I’m so sensitive to being knocked down, that when I do; I take it to the extreme.
If you saw my post yesterday, you know about the black nail polish..
I could have done worse; and I was thinking of something today.
The flesh wants an excuse to stand up. So the enemy looks hard in us to find one.
I will be honest with you; I thought about going to a bar today and drinking at 2pm, I thought about going and getting my nose pierced again, I thought about tattoos, and gothic wear at Hot Topic…
Not that there is anything wrong with any of these things if you have them, but for me it was the intent; I intended to fall into darkness. Never a good thing.
So then I was sitting with my mom at home, and she said to me how she resented my church for making me marry God. Making me be alone for the rest of my life.
She has always had a grudge when it came to God; I think you may know that by now.
It is why it is so vital for me to stay in fellowship with other Christians, and why I keep so close to my church leaders…I know whose right and whose wrong.
Learned a long time ago.
Anything that someone may say that I know sincerely loves Jesus would be sincere in what they say to me; they would never intend on bringing pain.
There was where the confirmation was though; it was like the enemy was standing there next to my mother, and trying to convince me that my church was unhealthy.
Maybe years ago, I would have believed him a little, but my church loves me; they want to see me continue to grow with Jesus.
And just like Jesus, they always find a way to get to me.
I am pretty blessed I’d say.
Anyway, I think I would like to expound on the whole distrust thing later, but for some key verses: Psalm 62, Psalm 55.