Hello dear people:)
Today is my momma’s 50th birthday!
I praise God alone for that.
Mom was never expected to make it this far.
She was born Oct. 17th, 1957, in Woodbury, New Jersey. The oldest of four children.
It wasn’t a healthy childhood, but she was very artistic, and painted and painted to help herself deal with the things around her. Including a peace sign that is still on the back of her old bedroom door.
My grandfather was in the military, and then became a cop; so he was extremely strict;
but also carried wounds from his own childhood. Physical abuse happened in my mom’s home for 16yrs.
As soon as she turned 18yrs, she left.
Over the years I have become to understand more of why she is teh way she is.
She was diagnosed with Chrons disease at the age of 23yrs. old. There is no way to sugarcoat it, and make it seem less grusome; but this disease affects the intestines. Anytime she would eat something, within about 10min; it would come right out.
I can’t tell you how many times we would be out somewhere; like the mall for example; and she would be like, ” Okay, we have to go.” Usually that would mean she had to find a bathroom, or she didn’t find time for one.
You get my point.
It was hard as a child for me, because I just wanted my mom. I wanted her to be able to wake up in the morning and take me to the park; without her being in pain.
I wanted her to be able to go to school plays and be able to stay through them.
I wanted her to go to my school open houses and see how I was doing in class, without spending the rest of the time in the bathroom.
I wanted to have a conversation with her, that wasn’t through the bathroom door.
Sometimes we had those times. But it was never something I counted on.
But my mom has always been a strong woman. She worked two jobs, while me and my sister were young. She fought through those daily times in the bathroom; making sure her job knew that they had to understand.
I remember when we were at the park, and I told mom to watch me slide, I got all the way up there, and the next thing I knew some lady named Diane came over and told me she was going to take me to my mom.
Mom had passed out.
Something that Chrons does to the system is takes away all the nutrients that come through the intestine; it doesn’t absorb it.
So she became dehydrated.
I stayed with my grandparents for a month while she went under treatments. Back then this was a new disease, they didn’t really understand it like now.
My dad was kind of in the picture, he drank a lot, and partied, but looking back on it, I think he was just really stressed from dealing with my mom.
I didn’t do very well in school, but again looking back, the only adults I really had that could concentrate on me, was my grandparents. And when you are with your grandparents; you don’t want to do school work.
Grandparents are for watching TV with you, and taking you out for icecream.
There was one time when my parents had to have a conference with my teacher and I was doing my homeword while they were talking.
I got detention a lot for not doing homework. I didn’t understand it, so I would figure I would get a grade as long as I put any answer down.
I didn’t know how much that would affect me down the road.
I was always a zoner in and out of class, I just could not pay attention.
When we got to Florida, mom’s disease was in remission. I remember doing better in school.
However, I got in trouble of course for talking. That’s just me.
I spent a lot of time with my friends though; hardly ever at home.
So I had a good few years of mom doing better, but then sixth grade, same old stuff.
What I don’t want you to picture though, is a woman that stayed at home in bed all the time; she has never been that way. One of the degrees she had was in Cosmetology.
These are jobs she did while I was in elementary school: Cable Vision, Bakery Manager, Deli Manager, and School Bus Driver.
When I got to highschool: She went to school to be an Electrolysis, and volunteerd: Beautification comittee, Garden Club, and worked for the Mayor with certain things in the city.
My tenth grade year, she got a colastomy and was able to live almost a normal life.
At some point she even learned how to be a volunteer fire fighter.
Once I was in college, she opened her own shop for awhile, until she got ill.
There is so much I feel like my mom and I missed though; but I figure that is where God came in.
Someone mentioned to me in a comment how I survived with such little foundation. and GOD would be my answer.
I have attended Pine Ridge Fellowship United Methodist church since I was 17yrs, and I am so blessed that they were there to go through the further times mom wasn’t doing her best, if even from a distance.
I remember each time mom would be in the hospital that I was in a particular bible study.
When I needed the prayers. I had them.
One thing maybe you have noticed in reading this; my mom is so stubborn.
I was at home watching TV, and mom told me she had spit up blood and feces.
I told her I was going to call 911; but she told me not to.
I went in the other room and called them anyway.
The EMT told me that I probably just saved her life, because once you get feces come back up, your body is being poisoned.
It was the nutrient deficiency.
We have had many close calls like that.
The thing though that I have to say; People are always asking why I don’t move out of a home that is so unbearable at times. I mean being 26, I should get that question.
But I have always been the one that took care of mom since I was a child; so it would be really hard to not be here if she needed me.
Although, I know I do need to live my own life.
Just this morning before I was going to observe my friends classroom.
Mom was in pain. Today on her 50th birthday.
Her back was sore, and I had to push on it for her.
She is seldom in a good mood much anymore, but there is something inside me that keeps going, keeps making sure no matter what I am there.
I know that’s Jesus.