LSOF: A Psalm from my own soul

In Disciple last night, we learned about two different kinds of Psalms: Praise and Lament.

So I thought I would pour out my own heart here, and show you one of lament, which is always so much easier to write then praise.

Psalm of my Heart
Angie Sarich

Before I close my eyes to rest
O Lord,
I am reminded how much you love me,
You comfort my tears
as my anxiety dwells over my heart.

You tell me to look forward to dreaming,
today already has passed,
No sense on looking towards what has been
For you’ve tucked it away in a secret place.

My life is in your hands,
Lord, this I know.
But sometimes I feel like it is safer to keep somethings
hidden,
even from you.

Help me dear Lord, to overcome the things
that are of no help to my well-being,
that are no help to who I am supposed to be.

You’ve told me that I can do all things
through you,
most of the time I believe that,
but sometimes my faith is not as strong
as I’d like it to be
facing that obstacle.

I’m good with you,
this I do know.

Even though at times I feel like I am closer
to kissing the ground
then reaching for the sky,
still you see me,
and just bring your peace
settling my insecurties at hand.

Lord, help me to put on the armor daily,
help me to move passed what I feel
and move in to what I know to be true.

I feel sometimes living for you alone,
is out of reach for me,
that I wasn’t meant for this,
that I don’t fit in with others that love you.

I breathe imperfection,
and the looks I get sometimes
make me wonder if I should even bother trying so hard.

But you know me Lord,
You know me so well,
and you love me for who I am.

I know this about you,
but I don’t know it about anyonelse,
and yet I walk this world.

Maybe if I closed my eyes to the day,
thoughts of being invisible,
I wouldn’t see so many eyes,
so many shovels digging at my mind…

Breaking me apart,
piece by piece,
trying to get me to the destruction point.

They know not what they do,
but you know what they do,
how does it make you feel
to see your child in such pain?

I feel as if sometimes I should not even speak
because judgement is always
lurking around the corner,
and not good enough,
is always right behind me…

Something is always there surrounding me,
keeping me from really living..

Extinguish things O Lord,
that I can not destroy on my own,
keep me from suffering,
and ridicule.

I want not to grieve this anymore.

You are God,
this is what you do.

Save me.

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8 thoughts on “LSOF: A Psalm from my own soul

  1. Rachael and I were just talking about the loneliness of the walk. How He does these amazing things for us and we just want to tell someone how He’s just blessing and they don’t understand. How the young woman you’ve been praying for finally stands up in class and volunteers to read the bible verse, how he just doesn’t give like the world gives, and we feel lavished apon but look to the world as if we are poor. It is quite the lament. That when your fellow siestas write with such heart and lift you up. We are in platoons out in the darkness calling out to each other “hey are you ok?” and “Don’t worry I’m disoriented out here too”Remember, the great wars are fought by the platoons out on the fields of battle.

  2. weighty words from Sammie!

    hey angie! i am so impressed with your heart, your passsion, your faith…

    you have been forgiven much and you love much—that’s the verse you so remind me of…

    i really love reading your blog and the comments you leave everywhere that so direct us all to your beautiful God…

    if you were in my church, i’d be all over you, after you because you deal with the fray of your heart and that’s so beautiful…

  3. Thank you so much for pouring out your heart to our Lord, so beautifully and expressively, and letting us “listen in.” Mmm, I love Sammie’s words as well!
    I love writing my own psalms, too. Haven’t done it in a while, but you are inspiring me. Thank you for inspiring me every time I drop by!

  4. just wanted to come wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, a tad late…but i thought about you when i read Psalm 86:11, 12 this morning…better is one day in His House than 1,000 CHOICES elsewhere and in v. 12 the word “trust” means “lay face down” and i thought of you and your childlike humility before your beautiful God knowing your place before Him and my prayer for you is this verse that “no good thing will He withhold from you” for you choose to walk uprightly…you touch me deeply with your faith, your heart wrapped around His…i love you, Bev

  5. okay, i’m not stalking you…i just had to come back to say…i left your blog and went over to Ang Baylis’ blog and she had Tomlin’s song about Psa. 84: 11, 12 playing…31,240 verses in the Bible and God gives me that one for you then the next one I read is the SAME VERSE…God keeps on doing that for me this year…so go on over and listen to YOUR SONG…maybe one day I’ll get to sing it with you…

  6. YOu truly touch my heart, Princess! What is it that troubles your soul? I could make a guess from my own walk in this world…remember the Father has started a work in you and has promised to finish it to completion, we only measure up in the eyes of God through the blood of Jesus, we only have to please HIM, and how do we do that..Faith..its the victory that overcomes the world. I love you!

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