LSOF: To the heart of it

Proverbs 27:19-
As water reflects a face,
so a man’s heart reflects the man.

I love when my grandmother comes to visit from New Jersey. Her and my late-grandfather were always my most favorite relatives.
My routine is as soon as she gets settled. To go right and sit smack dab next to her. I’ve done that since I was a child.
When dinner was getting ready, I would be asked to set the table, and help out with the cooking.
It was like pulling teeth, because I really didn’t want to leave my grandmother’s side.
My big thing I wish everyone learned in the family, was to just sit and be still for a few moments, and enjoy the moments we have.

I would imagine the scene quite similar at Martha and Mary’s home when Jesus came to visit. I can tell you I know I would have been stubborn anyway, and not left Jesus’ side.

But I know my life right now, has never been far from that story.

The one thing that is so major to me about God’s love, is that we don’t have to do anything for Him to love us. He already does.

My mom asked me why we didn’t do “ The sign of the cross” at church. I told her that its because its already a given, we know the Jesus, is God and the Holy Spirit.
I was speaking to God a little while ago, because I was thinking about how much faith I had when I first believed.
I used to write in my prayer journal so much, that I would often find myself doing it during class.
I just craved for the heart of God. I wanted every moment, I needed every moment.

I was telling God how I really wanted to learn more about Paul, and the other Disciples. But something He spoke to my heart as I prayed was.
He made me the way I am. I talk in circles, I think in circles, so having an organized study time, was not really what He had planned for me.
He wants me to write for the moment, for how my heart is at that moment.
He wants me to write for HIS heart.

I have been feeling a little miserable lately. Lonely, and just very on edge.
But during prayer today, I realized I do not feel secure unless I know God is right beside me, and that I know His arms are wrapped around me tight.
There have actually been times that I needed Him so bad that I would sleep with my bible to my heart.

I’ll share somethingelse with you all. I was in a relationship, that fell apart on its own. I thought I was horrible for breaking someone’s heart. But the reality of it is, I did what I was led to.
My mom went to church with me Sunday. I think what is most important to me right now, is not a relationship, but one with my family.
When I told people how happy I was that mom came to church with me, a lot just seemed to shrug their shoulders, they didn’t really get it. I could understand how they didn’t get it. How they weren’t jumping in the air like I was.
It was because it wasn’t their miracle. It was between me, God, and my family.
My family and I have never been affectionate, somehow we have gotten to that point. I tell them I love them before getting offline, or off the phone now…I never used to.
We are still very different people, but I figure God knows their heart, and He knows mine, so between all that He can make it work.
I ended my little prayer time, with praise
“ Hungry”, “ This is the air I breathe,” and “ I could sing of your love forever” were the songs.
Sometimes plain words don’t open my heart enough, I feel like if I really need to throw myself out there, as if I was screaming from a mountain…I have to sing

I picked up off my bookcase the very cry of my heart for the moment,
” A Woman After God’s Own Heart,” By: Elizabeth George.

I have had this book probably since 2000. I think it was actually Debbie’s copy(I should really get it back to her 🙂

I just opened it up and the first chapter was about Elizabeth seeing a woman on the street after her mother-in-law had passed. She seemed to have to same problems with osteoporosis.
God reminded her how much value our lives have, and that we have to make it count!

Let’s be a people who strive for the heart of God, instead of the heart of man!

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4 thoughts on “LSOF: To the heart of it

  1. fabulous post. great perspective. great truths. fantastic challenge!

    i know how much it means to you that your mom went to church with you! i think it is awesome ang!

  2. Thank ya Tam:)!!!

    I gotta tell ya, trying to explain to people that its about God’s heart, and not mine…
    sometimes doesn’t go over well…they think its rash decision making…and I’m like WHAT!!!
    2 hrs of praying..I THINK NOT!!!!

    I love you:)

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