I have hesitated to write this post for at least the last few weeks.
I thought maybe it should just be something between me and God.
I thought maybe I could just journal it and be done with it.
I thought perhaps my computer battery didn’t have enough juice
and then I wouldn’t have to write it…
Of course I was wrong on all of it.
My truest weakness as a believer that I need God to constantly work in me on is
I have spent a great deal of my life letting the wrong people in:
I trusted them, and they would use it against me.
I encouraged them, and they would act as if I never said a word.
I related to them, and they would act like we were so different.
I spoke to them about God, and they would tell me that I never had
any influence on their belief.
I was always there for them, but when I needed them I only received
a cold shoulder.
When I thought I was building them up,
what I didn’t realize was they were slowly
breaking me down.
They blamed me for their problems.
They ridiculed me.
They mocked my faith in God.
They manipulated me.
They put me down.
They always looked for a way to hurt my heart.
People like that suck the life right out of us.
My heart has certainly taking quite a beating from these kind of people
over the years, so much so…
I find it hard to let ANYONE in.
I’m truly a work in progress in this area, because I keep running into those people.
Even a relationship I was in that I thought was real, and that God was truly leading
every step ended up being a mirage. It wasn’t real.
As much as I would love to give advice and help in this area to you the reader,
I have to tell you that I don’t have the answers other than to keep your distance
from people who want to “fix” you, or want to “ own” you…
I mean we are not Bella from “ Twilight” we do not need an Edward in our life
that keeps us so close we cannot breathe. We don’t need relationships like that.
and of anykind.
We need people in our lives that build us up.
We need people in our lives that look for the best in us.
We need people in our lives that encourage our faith.
We need people in our lives that speak in love.
We need people in our lives who truly care.
We need people in our lives who speak for us.
We need people that help us on the rough journey of dealing
with the toxic world around us.
I think what I’m learning though is that distance from toxic people means
that we might have to distance ourselves from things we love.
Compromise is not in God’s plan.
My heart beat in all of this is to let God lead me to those who are supposed
to be in my life. Who really, really want to be an example of grace, and love.
I’m sure this post could have a part two, but right now this is the energy I can give
to this first one.
I pray that if you have dealt with this in your life too, that this post would help you
take a stand and say…
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
My God! Rescue me from my enemies, defend me from these mutineers. Rescue me from their dirty tricks, save me from their hit men.
-Psalms 59:1-2 (MSG)