I was sitting down with a friend a month or so ago, and I was sharing with her things God was doing and that I was learning. Her response surprised me…, “ Why do you sound so impatient?.”….
I looked at her with such a confused expression, I was telling her the good…I was telling her what God was working in me, and doing in my life…I was telling her all He was showing me…and then I took a moment to think about it…
Even though I had seen Him do many great things in me, and around me…even though I knew how good He has made so many areas….even though I had learned so much….
I was not content.
Since that conversation I really have been praying and seeking the Lord on this, and what I have realized that it was not impatience that my friend saw that day, she saw there was still some places in me that spoke louder for God to work in and move in…then the things He had.
I had places of desperation swelling up inside me, and clearly showing on my face…
It is truly a never-ending battle to be content in the places God has already placed His signature as, “completed,” whether it be healing of an illness, a relationship, and other things…but Paul was not exactly, “ A spring chicken,” when He wrote out, ” I have learned to be content in all things…”
I had a Word spoken over me recently. I believe there are people out there with a gift to give the words straight from the heart of the Lord, and this was said, “ You have been waiting for me to do great things, You have seen me do many great things…Greater things are yet to come.”
The person had no idea of my story, and what the last year has been like.
What is so interesting in what was spoken was how well God knew my heart, because He started with, “ You have been waiting for me to do great things…” but then adding, “ You have seen me do many great things…”
He was telling me, “ Let what I have done speak louder than what is still, “ Under construction.”
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)
Pastor spoke last night about our, “ Divine Design,” and how God moves us into the places we are called….We all have a starting point. We all have a place of, “ rite of passage,” and we all have a place where we will move into the life we have called to walk in…
But it is always God starting with the pen. It is not us, and it is not up to us.
The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)
He orders our steps. He knows exactly where are are meant to be…He orders exactly what we are to say, and when we are to say it…
If we were really to think about it, “ The places of desperation, “ are really those places we do not yet trust God in or place our faith in that He can overcome.
I was writing something the other day to someone, and said so many things about how awesome God has brought more clarity in, “ this,” area and “that,” area…
But then when I spoke about the areas I still knew I needed Him to work in…I felt the anxiety rise up….I had fear in these areas…not one iota of peace…not one iota of faith…
I have seen Him do some amazing things…and yet in these areas I struggle…
When I thought of this I had the image of Peter when Jesus was being captured the night. Peter cutting off the man’s ear…after everything Jesus had taught him…” Turn the other cheek,” and that it was no longer, “ eye for an eye.”….
I believe I had this image, because God is telling me, “ You cannot fight this…Only I have the power to take this on, as I have also done in the other things.”
Jesus took on the cross to break the power of sin that rules over us. To break the chains from the enemy forever.
There is nothing inside us that says, “ I can take care of this if I just talk it out more, if I just blog about it more, if I just run around the block more…etc.”
The only good in us is Jesus, and it is not us in anyway that “upholds” ourselves in our lives, it is not us that can “ order” exactly where we want to step next, what the plan is for us next looks like…It is the Lord…Only the Lord.
It is His battle. He breathed us into this life, and He knows how to overcome it.
“ Lord Jesus, I come to you to ask you to help us all to see that you are constantly working in us, and that we are being renewed day by day to not the standards we set for ourselves, but by the standards set by grace. Help us to know that you can overcome all things, Help us to be reminded daily on this, and help us to be content in you, and all you’ve done. In Jesus name, Amen.”