LSOF: Darkness to Light

From darkness to light…

What has been, or is the “darkness,” in your life right now? What is a common theme
that just torments you where you stand?
Do you feel like, because of it, that you feel like your goals and dreams seem too far out of reach?

I’ve been there too.

I could best describe it as the ending scene in, ” Alice in Wonderland,” when Alice is going through the corridor
and all of the characters are chasing after her. At one point she starts to run in slow motion, and then finally reaches the door to the outside, only to find it locked.
And if I can recall she says, ” Please open the door, I need to get out of here.”
and the door speaks to her, ” But you are already out.”

I think how this story relates to us in regarding to the stuff that is swallowing us up in our lives,
I think it says that our reality is NOT the true reality.
I think it says that when we choose to believe what is found in the darkness,
instead of believing the Hope found in the light…
We create our own prisons. We mask ourselves and everything we are,
inside of our minds. We allow ourselves to be, ” chased,” by the common theme of thoughts,
and situations that plague us daily.

Why do we do this?

I think a lot of the time, its easier to believe lies.
Because the truth is something that has been more far fetched for us.

Put it this way, if you are used to feeling like a failure,
and then you succeed at something…
you probably won’t even realize that you have indeed, succeeded.

Why do we continue to believe these negative thoughts?

I think that we let one thing or a few things that have happened in our lives,
decide what the future will look like, because they have been so common.
Because the ending keeps looking the same.

Matthew 6:22-23
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy,[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

It’s basically like deciding tomorrow will rain, because today is.
We don’t really know for sure.
But we set ourselves up to the degree, that the worst will just continue to happen.

And honestly, can I tell you something…
We were not born with a storm cloud over our heads.

We have to remember that God has full control over everything that happens to us,
and all we have been through, its never out of His sight.

Which I have to just add something here that seems to be a common thing in this day and age:
When something amazing happens in another’s life, something unbelievable…
It is often chalked up as coincidence,
When something bad happens, the FIRST thing others do is BLAME God!

It tells me that our culture doesn’t really believe in God, they believe that they believe themselves, and God just gets in the way.

How much of our darkness in our life is attributed to our own doing?

How much of our lives our wasted, because we are slaves to ourselves?


How much of our lives to we set ourselves up ON OUR OWN, with defeat?

I think so much of the time that even though there is a real enemy out there,
that he doesn’t even have to do anything to test us…we test ourselves and he just
sits back, laughs and takes some notes…

Do we really want to live lives that show we rather walk through our own mess everyday,
our own past, and keep it with us like some security blanket?

Because let me ask you something,
Do you feel secure?
Does it make life easier, because you live life the way you always have?
You might think so, but you would be very wrong.
We are meant to progress, we are meant to face ourselves…
Because we have to understand that God has set up our character, and who we are…
It’s set up for a purpose, nothing is in vain…
I am sure I’ve said that many times on this blog, but its the truth,
because once you start to believe that life is horrible,
and your web of torment will never let you go…
you are telling yourself…
It all was meant for nothing.

Healing from the darkness….

John 12:46
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.

Healing from everything in our lives that has been the tier of negativity and destruction,
is not something that is simple. You can’t just read a “self-help,” book…you can’t listen to Oprah,
or Tyra, you can’t hear the right lyrics in a song, you can’t buy something at the store, you
can’t eat something, you can’t get it from sex, drugs, whatever…

True healing starts with realizing there is true darkness.

True healing comes from admitting that its a problem to your future.

It means admitting you are not God.
It’s admitting you have lost control.

Psalm 61:2
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

I’m not saying that we need to start going to like ” Anonymous” meetings and saying,
” Hello my name is…and I have been dealing with this since I was 5…”

I’m saying that we need to put that darkness in its rightful place,
back to hell where it came from.

It starts with one day at a time living your life a little differently than you have.
It may mean you need to surround yourself with different people.
It may mean you might have to take on a different hobby.
It may mean you might even have to find another job at times…

But progress comes from changing what has been consistent,
to inconsistent.
It’s deactivating our thought process into a new form of perspective.

I also have a warning for you…
If you continue on, and don’t seek to start healing…

You are going to hurt people in your life,
you are going to hurt those who have reached out, and want to be there for you.
You are going to jump at something said or done that was completely

And you will go into a circle of consistent chaos…and that will become your future.

I want to leave you with this thought:

In a fire drill, we learn to STOP, DROP, and ROLL…

What if we looked at the darkness as flames….
and could speak to it…
” STOP tormenting me in my life, I am now going to DROP the control this has on me,
and It will ROLL away from my life by the hands of God.

We do not have to let our darkness overcome the light of who we need to be.

There are many out there who have no clue that darkness even exists in their lives,
because they’ve never known light…

Now that you know that there is a problem, now that you know that you need to stand up
and take care of your own, ‘stuff’…

Will you?

Because there is a world out there that God needs your help to heal…

Think about it.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint

LSOF:”Mirror, Mirror On the Wall…”

I have had a fascination with mirrors since I was a baby…yes, there are actually pictures of me laying on the floor and looking at my reflection. When I got a little older I would climb up on the couch and press my tiny hands against the mirror. I would stand there and just wonder if it was possible for there to be another world on the otherside…to this day, I still wonder:)

Reflections can be created anywhere.
Looking down into a lake you can see yourself in the calm ripples.
Through the glass of a department store, you can see the mannequin’s and then yourself.
When you do your make up, making sure the fascad of the day is perfect.
Even rainbows have a reflection sometimes, creating another one in the sky.
Clouds during the fog create reflections..
You can see a reflection in eyes, picture frames, and even the sun
has a reflection…its just so bright its hard to see.

Reflections are the substitute of the real thing, but appear so magical and beautiful.

My story continues the reflection that I have created for myself, what I see when I look into the looking glass:)

I have a new job position now, as a overnight supervisor, and its one I never thought I would be seen as being able to really do.

I think what people may not realize so much, is that your resume’ that you share with your potential employer is a reflection of YOU, what you have done, and accomplished.

I had accomplished a lot in my 11 yrs of retail, teaching, and customer service.
Eventually you get a position that brings you back to all of it you already know,
and the ” big” position you suddenly have, is doable.

I have had it rough as a child to teen, and now adult.

I was always different. I never went with the crowd. The crowd thought I was weird, because I only chose to be around a certain group of people.

I didn’t want to be around people who weren’t real. I wanted to be around people who knew who they were, and didn’t care what others thought about them.

I remember I was even invited to sit at the ” cool” kids table, and so I sit down, a girl sits across from me and says, ” Oh, so we are just letting anyone sit at our table now.”

I got up, and went and ate my lunch outside.

I think it is that I was just always pretty hyper for people, and drove them crazy.

Eventually I felt more comfortable being around my teachers, then my friends. Somehow, I just felt I didn’t relate to anyone.

I would stay after school and help my teachers, and then go to drama practice.

I became so antisocial in highschool that I actually stayed in my teachers’ classroom by myself reading magazines, while there was pep rallies going on outside.

Highschool for me was about what image you could have, was the outcome of how you would be seen, and succeed.

I had the talent, but I never had the ” image” I didn’t have the part that was ” dreamed” for someonelse.

The only image that was left, that I didn’t create for myself, but others chose to see me…a snitch.

I was told to speak to a private investigator about a teacher who was under the investigation for sexual harrasment. I was volunteered, and when I was in teh room I was told to say anything that I knew and that anything I didn’t say might make me be questioned later on. So I just told them everything that I had seen and heard.

Well, the teacher ended up losing their teaching license, and the people who volunteered me to speak about it; suddenly they backed off and told everyone that it was a misunderstanding and that I didn’t know what I was talking about.

So it brings me to think, what really is the reflection we create for ourself, when the entire world already assumes they know what they see?

Just because you look at someone, doesn’t mean you really SEE them.

And I am really proud of myself for not backing down when the majority had pretty much told me I would never be ” as good” as someonelse. I kept trying.

The reflection that I have for myself, is a girl who has the light of God radiating from her, it might not shine perfectly, but its in the works. I am still hyper, and annoying. But God loves me for me, and when I put on my make up and get ready for work, I don’t make myself look any different but to just exentuate the qualities about me that can already be seen.

I am me, and I chose to live life on the other side of the mirror. So its not perfect all the time, and so it might have a different color sky…but it is genuine.

I can still picture my tiny hands on the glass….