LSOF: The Language of Love

We speak out on unfairness, We speak out on cruelty, We speak out on “freedom of speech” breached, We speak out on our beliefs, morals, values…We speak out against what we don’t agree with…

How often to do we speak of fairness, How often to we speak of kindess, How often do we remember that we are still standing on free soil, How often do we just share our beliefs, morals and values with respect to the stranger standing next to us…How often do we just let the silence speak louder than the noise around us?

We know what we should say, but how often do we? How often do we speak in the same language as the grace that redeemed us?

I know I’ve been guilty of this just as we all have.

My church statement this year is, “ Real love revolution,” — I think its time to look at what that means to my own heart, what it means to all of us.

Real love to me is about knowing where a person came from, but not seeing them like they still live there…

Real love to me is recognizing the heart of the person in front of you, and not their appearance…

Real love to me is having a conversation with someone who completely disagrees with everything you believe in, but still trying out a flavor of Starbucks they recommend, or a movie they told you they liked.

Speaking the language of love sometimes does not take as much as we claim it does….So what stops us?

I think what happens is that we get wrapped up in structuring our day from beginning to end that we forget there are other people. We forget everyone comes with a different culture and background.

When a widow only has two pennies, you can’t exactly expect her to have three…right?

I remember when I was in elementary school and I thought all families were Catholic, because I was never told otherwise.

Love is not blind, y’all…it goes beyond labels, it goes beyond new stories, it goes beyond song lyrics, television shows, and even what we think we know…Love is still love, even when we forget it exists .

You can’t force fairness, you can’t force kindness, You can’t force beliefs, morals or values to someone who doesn’t have the same, You can’t force someone to agree with you when you don’t agree with them…

And if we could do that…we would be communist socialists.

We forget that one day we might not be allowed to share religion at all, We forget that there are bigger evils that exist in the world then what we place value as important, we forget that this life we live now is a privilege given by God himself, and He can take it all away in an instant.

I think its time that we change the language of love we’ve known to be side by side by the One that created it in the first place.

Put the stone down, and write on it on how Jesus showed how much He loved you.

LSOF: The kind of post I pray I will never write…

My last post I was very transparent, and I almost second guessed a few things that I wrote, but nevertheless, I know I was meant to write it.

I was thinking the other day after writing it. I did my own personal checklist, and one thing I realized I didn’t do enough of was mention God’s Word, give scriptures and share Biblical quotes.

However, I feel like while that might have been what “ I should have done” according to maybe some, I will say God spoke something powerful to my heart:

“ Don’t write it unless you feel it.”

It’s not that I didn’t want to place scripture to that post, because I could have, but more so, its not about going through the motions and finding words to say, I said the words I was supposed to say.

I was real, and I talked about what life was like for me right now. And Jesus is in my life and going through it with me.

But the post I never want to write is one that my heart is not all about.  I never want to write words just to make the rest of the world feel like I met some sort of standard as a Christian writer.

My feeling is that there is enough in this world we try to sugarcoat to make life easier for those around us, but I’m not going to be someone who always writes, about “ Sunshine and rainbows”- and especially now, its just not where I am.

I very much believe that God is amazing and His grace is sufficient for me. I know that Jesus died for me. I know that God is a deliverer, a healer, and our Father.  I know that He sees us in our sufferings and rejoices in our victories alongside of us.

But there are times where even believing it is just not enough.

Sometimes we come to places in our lives that place us at a standstill and we say to God,

“ Didn’t we just go through this?”

Wilderness times are very real, and it is meant to strengthen us. I know that reality.

But when you are a faith-believing Christian and you know what you know, and believe as you do, and then are hit and hit with the same things…it can make someone weary, such as myself.

So at the end of the day, when I continue to watch the pain and suffering around me, I remember He is still God, and therefore there is still hope.

I’m thankful so thankful that He is still here and He is still moving.

I pray I never write a post where my reality doesn’t match up with what I’m sharing.

” I’m Already There…”

There is this song by Lonestar, ” I’m Already There…” and it is about a man calling his family while he is away. He is sad he could not be there with them, but to comfort himself and his family he just answers:

I’m already there
Take a look around
I’m the sunshine in your hair
I’m the shadow on the ground

I’m the whisper in the wind
I’m your imaginary friend
And I know, I’m in your prayers
Oh I’m already there

Music touches my heart so deeply when it comes to my faith, because I read lyrics not in the sense of what the song is trying to convey but what I believe God is speaking to me through it. It doesn’t have to be a Christian song at all, God speaks through everything.

I brought this particular song up, because there is a verse that has been on my heart for the past few weeks. It is interesting, because this particular verse that is found out of Deuteronomy was a concept I saw inside the verse last year. God speaks through what He knows we already know.

Before I go into this verse in Deuteronomy 31:8, I want to share a bit about the beginning of Deuteronomy 31, and give an idea as to what is happening.

Picture Moses, Joshua, and the Isrealites standing on the edge of the river. Moses is 120 years old. He has done what God had asked of him, and God was ready to raise up a leader in Joshua.
Moses knew that the people would be hesitant to leave him, but also knew he needed to prepare the people that his journey with them had come to an end.

“I am now a hundred and twenty years old and I am no longer able to lead you. The LORD has said to me, ‘You shall not cross the Jordan.’ The LORD your God himself will cross over ahead of you. He will destroy these nations before you, and you will take possession of their land. Joshua also will cross over ahead of you, as the LORD said.” (Deuteronomy 31:2-3)

I think what might be being said here is that the people would not be able to face the nations before them until an appointed time. God had to cross over first, and then he would have Joshua follow Him.

I love how it did not go like this, ” Joshua will go ahead of you, and we hope he finds God there.”

Just as Moses was preparing the Isrealites for his departure with them, I would suggest that knowing Joshua no longer had Moses for a leader, that he was handed the staff and in Moses eyes it could have been said, ” Your Lord God will cross over before YOU.” He might have wanted Joshua to know that he would not be leading the people alone or blindly. He might have said that to first and foremost comfort Joshua.

The LORD will deliver them to you, and you must do to them all that I have commanded you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31: 5-6)

Moses shares that the nations would be delivered to them, which is exactly why God told them to stay put and wait. God would know exactly what the best plan would be for the people. He tells them there is no reason to be afraid. God already knows the outcome.

“Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the LORD swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. 8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8)

There is a pattern we can see in Deuteronomy 31 that I have not seen with other scripture. Moses tells the people: ” The Lord God will crossover before you,” ” The Lord goes with you,” ” The Lord himself, goes before you, and will be with you.”

I love how God never once says he is going ahead of them without saying that He will also be with them.

I think too often we forget that God knows the plans He has for us, but that He does not leave us to take them on alone. He is there with us through the journey.

I know as someone who is preparing to be led a different direction in my life, one that means it is a journey He leads, but that I follow; that there will be people following my footsteps too.

As many times as I’ve seen this verse the last few weeks in Deuteronomy 31:8, I can’t help but hear God saying loudly to my heart, ” I got this, I have your back, if you get discouraged…I may be ahead of you, but I’m still right here.”

We are not meant to go through this life alone, regardless of how much knowledge we think we have on accomplishing something, and regardless what position we have, we need to know we have support, we need to know God is there, and that He will place people in our lives that help to mold us into what He needs us to become for His namesake.

God is going to ask us to lead. It might mean we are going to have to put something down. It might mean the things we have to let go of might be people in our life. It might mean we have to change who we are so much that it takes a toll on us. It might mean that we might have to lose our lives completely for the cost of following Christ.

Whatever it means for us. He already knows, He was already there.

We are standing in his footprint.

LSOF: Heart Wisdom

There was a simulcast this weekend, with an amazing message. If you want to check it out, see earlier posts.

I always try to get an underlying message for myself to hear. One that doesn’t necessarily come through from the speaker audibly.

The message for me was that I don’t need to be a scholar to be able to share wisdom with the world about Jesus. What He has done in my life, and who I’ve come to know Him as, I personally do not think could be found in any research article. There are just somethings that cannot be studied.

And its those accounts that one experiences on their own, when the pen and paper are put away, when the cameras are gone, and when the crowd has better things to do…

I sat with a lady during the simulcast who I shared about my experience with the pit and that you can indeed be put in it due to obedience.

Her eyes got wide, and she sort of seemed to let out a breath of deep relief.

I don’t know what it was that she had gone through, but it was at that moment she needed to hear that she wasn’t alone, and that she was doing in her life what was God’s purpose.

My experiences with pain and Him restoring me, have taught me to not be ashamed what I should share with anyone. We all have darkness that has been apart of our lives. It is through knowing darkness exists that we will search to find the light.

I want to share that I have deep respect and esteem for Beth Moore. I’ve done many of her studies, but I learned we had something more in common. She got to know Jesus more through her pain. Knowing that has helped me to love on others with my story. There are still areas where pain exists in my life, but I had to learn that God’s healing overshadows it.

God loves me. God cares for me. God protects me. God delivers me. God knows where I am. God understands how I feel. God changes me. God restores me. God heals me. God will be the only one that will help me live my life victoriously.

Someone told me a few months back that I helped restore their faith in God, and without sharing much more I’ll say that now she wants nothing to do with God.

My heart has taught me that when it comes to God, you have to work at knowing Him. You have to work at loving Him, and trusting Him. There are no quick fixes.

We go through the fires in life, because we need to get burned. We need to experience that God binds up our wounds.

I’m sad for those who choose what is temporary instead of true hope.
My pain was real, but because of it, I know my faith is real.
So all those scholars out there, who think they have all the answers…
I can assure you they don’t…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…”
(Proverbs 3:5)

LSOF: ” Coming out of the Dark…”

As I began writing this post the song, ” Coming out of the Dark.” by Gloria Estefan came to my mind.

It’s quite fitting to say the least.

I spoke last time about my experience with the pit, and now I’d like to share what it is like once I came out of the pit.

My friend and I meet every other week or so to just pray and have conversation about God, and the things He is doing in our lives. And today we focused on God’s attributes and what we know them to be.

I shared that God is merciful and shows us favor by His grace, that we so do not deserve.

I focused on the pit and how when we are obedient and just keep dealing with the thing until its over, then God rewards us by His favor in our lives.

The pit is indeed a rough place to be, but I want to give emphasis to the word PLACE for a moment, because that is really what it is, just a place in a season of our lives.

One of my dear spiritual mentors shared with me in a birthday card how God does not throw us on earth like a pieces on a chessboard, but that he strategically PLACES us where He needs us to be to fulfil His purpose.

The Pit has a Purpose.

So I write this to share with you that favor will come once the purpose of being in the pit is done, but sometimes its also good to realize that God will bless even when we are in the pit. He wants us to recognize He is there and He loves us.

It’s important to look for His fingerprints through the pit. Those little blessings that He leaves for us.

I was sharing this morning with someone that asked me what happened to living in Savannah

To which I told them that God moved me back to Florida, and I also added that I grieved it, but that

I knew He had a greater purpose than I could see at that time.

For the first time in my life I can tell you I really love my life, and I really have come to know the character of God through my time in the pit.  I learned how He was with me when I flat out cursed Him in my own way. He was merciful, He didn’t look to try to make life worse, but instead He saw how numb I had become from my own emotions, and piece by piece…He started to put me and my life around me together again.

And what is interesting in all this is I didn’t think that I would get out of the pit by God’s help alone, I really thought that others might help me who had experienced it at the same time. I was wrong, and it is why it took me so much longer to get out then it was needed.

We are all a work in progress.

Keypoint I feel I should make in all this: Don’t deny that you are in the pit, don’t deny that something isn’t going the way it should be in your life, Don’t deny that there is something inside of you that you need to re-evaluate with God.

Don’t deny you need healing.

Again, I’m just talking; its just you and I having a conversation over starbucks, and I’m telling you what I experienced.

I want to see you free, because God does.

LSOF: The Perception of Self Worth

My dear friend, Cally. She left this world
on May 19, 2010.

I am dedicating this post to my friend Cally Walrath. She passed away, May 19th 2010.
These are words I wish I could sit down and tell her this moment. I know that I can’t,
but I do know that there are many other people out there who have a perception of themselves
that is such a distortion from actual reality.

You are special.

I think we have become a society that is so obsessed with appearances, and ” the name” out in the world, that we have lost sight of realizing the value of US.

What I would love to sit and tell you out there is that there is more to you right this moment then you will ever know. There is such a beautiful plan for your life. It’s a solid plan. You have oceans of hope and grace then you could ever know what to do with. You will take journeys of finding true paradise in life. You will meet the blue sky to the stars. You will have more knowledge from all you’ve been through then you realized you might ever attain.

What someone says you are. What someone says you should dress like. What someone believes about you.
None of it matters. Unless you let it matter to you.

I could definitely tell you that your self-worth is found in Jesus. And that is very true.
But at the end of the day, when all is said and done. Do you really believe that?
Do any of us really truly believe that and can stand by that belief?

The distortions of who we are start to happen when we let the outside affect who we are on the inside.

With religion its legalism. With success its perfectionism. With control its manipulation.

I could add to that forever.

I’m not saying religion will always lead to legalism. I’m saying that we often will try to ” fit the mold” so to speak, and believe in how we are “told” to about ourselves, our faith, rather than have that chance to find out for ourselves.

Success is wonderful, everyone wants it. But just like any addiction we can get caught up it being to critical of ourselves, to the point that who we truly are, and what truly motivates us doesn’t come from the heart but from what useless knowledge. We become drones to our professions. Losing ourselves, forgetting the success that is already apart of us.

Being in control of anything, or feeling out of control is also very dangerous in how we perceive ourselves.
We can easily manipulate our own way of thinking and processing through a situation, because we learned a way that ” seems” to work.

I had a friend say to me a few weeks ago that when she looks in the mirror she doesn’t recognize who she is, that so much in her life has changed that she is not sure she can recognize herself in her life.
This girl is amazing too. She is a ” dreamer” of life, so passionate about doing so much. But her life
is tiring her out. She knows that she needed to step back and get to know herself again.

Truth is, we all need to do that. We all need to get back to looking in the mirror and make sure the reflection is the one that is meant to be out in the world.

Self-worth doesn’t come from being just like everyonelse, it comes from surely knowing there are things about you that are different. And that different is good.

I just want to add I’m not asking you to follow this advice, the last thing I’d want to be is a self-help book,
but I do want you to think about your own self-worth.
I do want you to think about if you really know yourself well enough that if someone came up to you
who you don’t know that well…how would they know you?
By your name…or by your heart.

Think of the value of YOU.

LSOF: Forgiveness

As I closed my eyes to sleep last night, I had a thought go through my heart.
It was as if I was laying on the ocean shore, and a gentle wave washed over me.
My heart was being told in God’s sweet, still small voice…
” You must forgive..”

I’m not one to be all to excited when God pushes me to write on things that go beyond
what I really am feeling at the present moment.
But I can tell you this…

I woke up with the same thought on my heart.
And it was as if the thought lived with me all through the night,
God was making it clear…YOU NEED TO DO THIS.
He wouldn’t let it go.
So I knew I couldn’t.

Now to you, maybe forgiving is an easy thing to do. I’m going to guess though, like me,
it doesn’t come so easy.

It might be easier to “forget” the situation, the “forgive” the circumstances within it all.

Forgetting is not the same as Forgiving.

How many times have you heard someone say to you, ” Oh just forget about it.”
That’s basically just saying to you, ” It’s not that important, get over it.”

But let me tell you something that strongly has been brought to my heart when it comes to forgiving and forgetting…
True forgiveness does not come from just letting that person, ” off the hook”…we may feel it for a certain amount of time, but I can almost promise you somewhere down the line…you are going to remember the situation, and feel that unforgiveness rage inside of you…so much so…
that you not only don’t forgive the situation that happened with that person, but it becomes a domino effect and you end up burning so many bridges…without intention.

So this would be what happens when someone says to you, ” Forgive and forget.”
More than likely, most times, we forget, before we forgive.
Not the way to go.

I don’t think any of us really can get the concept of what it is to forgive.
And I’m writing this, because I didn’t know….until now.
And this knowledge did not come from books.
I searched my own heart.

Forgiveness in my own words is to look beyond the faults of another person,
and beauty beyond it all. Beyond the anger they might have shown you, beyond the pain
they might have caused you, beyond the control they might have put on you, beyond the manipulation,
beyond the inferiority they caused you to feel, beyond anything and anything…
Whatever it was…

You see the person instead. You see them for who they ARE.
You know in their mind they might believe they are right, that they have just caused
to treat you, or say things to you that they do…
but I think I remember very well what Jesus said when He was on the cross
and people thought they had just cause to put Him there…

” Forgive them Father, they know not of what they do.”

Forgive and forgetting is something recommended actually from a health website.

This is straight from the website:
” Many people view forgiveness as an offshoot of love — a gift given freely to those who have hurt you.

Forgiveness, however, may bring enormous benefits to the person who gives that gift, according to recent research. If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you’ll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive. ” – Tom Valeo, via Webmd.com

Time heals pain, this is true. However, at some point (sooner then later), in that time…
we all need to look back on the situation with someone, and tell ourselves that we have to forgive.

I know there are some out there that feel like its too late, that the person has either passed or is no longer apart of your life…but its NOT too late.

It will be HARD, but I believe that our all powerful God can see it bubbling inside of you even now…
He can see your heart saying, ” If only…”
and He is going to tell you to stop regretting the past, stop wondering of how you wished things were different, and just think of that person in that situation you have been in life…
And say, ” I forgive you for…” and maybe you can’t get yourself to say, the ” Forgive you for” part,
if you can’t, its okay to just say, ” _____ , I forgive you.
Leave it at that. God knows your heart, He knows there are words you can’t get yourself to speak.

When we are hurting…we don’t want to forgive.
Plain and simple.
Believe me, I get this—
We need to get out of that frame of mind,
and work on it each day…

And like in my case, because I know that my heart is at stake and everything that I am, and what I truly believe in my character…I choose forgiveness.
I am created to be an example of Jesus, and He forgave.

And maybe like you, those who I want to say, ” I forgive you,” to…I can’t.
They are not apart of my life now…but God knows that I did.
And that’s what matters.

We need to focus on praying for good for others too…and forgiveness
helps us to pray for blessings for their lives.

We need to again realize, forgetting and not forgiving…it leaves an unintentional thorn in your side.
You will REMEMBER, and when you do…you won’t think lovingly of that person.
And its not fair to them or to you.

And all that is planned for all of you.

Forgive and don’t forget; instead- remember by how it’s shaped your life, and who God will raise u up to be through it!

I’ve probably gone on and on about this.

But I want to tell you something.

I have peace since I forgave those in my life who hurt me. They will never know it.
But it doesn’t matter.
My heart is right with God, because it is HE who needs me to forgive.
The others in my life, it wouldn’t matter….and that’s okay.

Forgiveness matters to God.
Because He doesn’t want us to have any stumbling block in the path
ahead.

And “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places…”
and it starts by knowing we have no place with God,
if we have no place to forgive.

If you choose life.
Then choose forgiveness too!

(Colossians 3:12-14)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

LSOF: ” I Will Rise…”

I appreciate so much of the support and love that y’all have shown me in the last week since I decided it was best to stay quiet from my blog for a month…I never thought there was really more than me writing and reading these posts…you guys blew me away with your response!

So I have been thinking and it has really been pressed on my heart to…WRITE ANYWAY.
And thanks to you all for helping my heart to have perspective.
The whole point I write…has NOTHING to do with me.

I don’t know if you do this or not, but sometimes when I get in my car, I don’t turn on the radio.
I have music with me on my player…but sometimes…
I sing songs without the music.
Sometimes it means more to my own heart, when I am singing the lyrics to the song…
Just for me, and God to hear.

This particular song this morning brought tears to my eyes when I tried to sing it, its absolutely beautiful and its one that just makes me feel like I am riding on eagles wings.
It just sends a rush of peace through my soul…
It’s called,

” I Will Rise,” by Chris Tomlin.


There’s a peace I’ve come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There’s an anchor for my soul
I can say “It is well”

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles’ wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There’s a day that’s drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

” There’s a peace I’ve come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail…”

I love that line so much…it comes out of the heart of Psalm 73:26

” My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”

I have to just share with you that what occured to me today while I was singing that song…
My flesh and my heart WILL fail…but its the HOPE I have that will always bring me back
to the place I need to be.

I know that hope. I know it SO well, that it brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it.

Hope is intertwined with faith and love…it reaches into the deepest part of who we are,
and tells us we are beautiful. It holds our hand in our fears, and let’s us know that light is stronger than darkness. It believes for us, when we don’t believe we have purpose to believe otherwise,
It knows the truth of who we are, when we are unsure of our identity.
It comforts us in our trials, It pushes us to take steps we don’t want to, It takes the tears that fall from our eyes and turn them into a treasure of another’s life. Hope was born into a world that never deserved it.
Yet it chose to overpower our pain…

” I will rise on eagles wings…”

This beautiful line comes out of Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I want everyone to know that I’ve decided to change the direction of this blog.
It has ultimately been about “Little Steps Of Faith”…but its on my heart to take it deeper.

I want to help teach HOPE…for now on we will walk blindly with the eyes of faith,
and walk into the arms of HOPE…
It’s about the journey not so much of believing and faith…
but taking that faith we have and pressing our heart into believing MORE when all we know
of the world is that it WILL let us down. It’s KNOWING God, but believing with our hearts…
that we can overcome anything with Him at our side.

I look forward to sharing my heart with you on this journey:)

LSOF: The fight is not ours

I love to look at bible verses that encourage me, and help me to know and remember how powerful our God really is;
not that we could actually fathom that in completeness, but I love to just be blown away by Him at times.

Did you know that in Exodus 14:14(NLT) it actually says,
” The Lord, HIMSELF will FIGHT for YOU, You only need to only stay calm.”

REALLY? Really is that all we have to do is just be calm and let God handle everything going on with us.

YES.

The more we actually give God a chance to take ahold of the things going on in our lives, the better our lives will be.
It will be BETTER, because we will be giving ourselves PEACE. We honestly leave our issues, are situations, and our problems with God and say…

” YOU LORD ALONE know how to deal with this. It is your fight, it is not mine. I can overcome this, I can get passed it…
Because You are God and NOTHING is too hard for you! Mountains tremble and fall into the oceans before you. Rulers fall to their face in your presence. The earth is yours and everything in IT. Help all of us Lord to overcome the evil one, Help us all Lord to not be discouraged by our days. You are our shield, our sword, and our REDEEMER. You take our lives from the pit and make them anew. You search us, and you know us. Let your heart be our DIRECTION Father…let us leave our weapons on the ground, and let YOU move ahead of us…”

I know that wars are fought with weapons overseas. But I also know that for every bullet fired, that there is someone on their knees praying. Weapons alone do not destroy, it is our reverence for God. It is us knowing every heartbeat should be in belief that we cannot stand where we are without HIM.

I was sitting in church today, and we were singing the song, ” Everything” – ” Your all that I want, your all that I need, your everything, everything…”

And I felt myself not only sing that song, but feel it from my heart towards heaven. I couldn’t say it loud enough!
He is EVERYTHING. HE is ALL we NEED. We only need to trust Him that He knows better!

I went into the prayer center right after church, my heart was full. I love my time spent with Him.
I passed a man who was on the side of the church smoking. He jumped when he saw me, ” I didn’t know anyone would come by here.” and I just looked at him and said, ” It’s okay.” and walked inside. His look on his face showed “shame”, and it got me thinking more HOW again EVERYTHING is God’s fight. Even our addictions. I mean we ALL have our addictions.

I walked inside and I sat down, and I looked at the portrait of Jesus. And I just started to say, ” Lord, I know I’m trying, and I admit I’m not trying hard enough, but YOU Lord, I know you can help me to do better.”

I also shared with Him about someone in my life struggling right now with a lot, and I finally said,
” I need to leave this with you, because you are the one in this battle for them, not me.”
Because I am sure that’s what the Spirit put in my heart to say.
I know I need to. I can’t make anyone’s life better. It is God alone who can.

The fight is not ours my friends. We can think that we can handle it better…and then that is when we find ourselves on the ground. We become sad. We become deeply depressed. We quit having motivation for anything…
We eventually put a stopper in the flow of the Holy Spirit pouring into our lives.

We may not face physical battles, but I know there are spiritual ones, and mental ones going on inside of all of us,
I don’t care who you are…you are fighting something today too.

Let HIM fight for you. Let HIM take all of it on. HE can handle it.

In Isaiah 40:26 it says that God placed every star in the sky and calls them each by name…every star.
And it is His strength and power alone that keeps them where they are, and from falling…

He WILL do the same for us.

We just have to remember our battle is the Lord’s.

He’ll take it from there.

LSOF: Leaving a Legacy


My dear ffriend now in heaven

We all have a background song for our life, one that describes who we are, and what we are about.
One that speaks our heart, passion for life, and plays in our mind at such a volume we forget the
rest of the world exists.

For my friend Cally, that song was, ” The Greatest Love Of All” By: Whitney Houston.
She used to sing this song often, and when I would ask her to, she would sing it for me.
I actually have it playing on repeat in the background as I write this.
While its brought me to tears several times today; I can now listen and it comforts me.
Every lyric speaks what her hearts cry was.

” I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows,
if I fail ,if I succeed, at least I lived as I believed,
no matter what they take from me,
they can’t take away my dignity.”

I’ve never experienced a death of a friend that had such impact over my life before.
I was blessed to have Cally in my life.

I think in a lot of ways, she helped me be who I am today.
I owe my quirkiness, and creativity to her, she didn’t let me be afraid,
she always encouraged me to just be me, no matter what anyone thought.
Though she could not do the same for herself.

Cally lived daily trying to love the world, but the world would not
love her the way that she wanted it to.
Cally tried to give to the world, but the world would not
receive what she had to give.

Cally tried to share Jesus with everyone she met,
and encourage them anyway she could…
She’ll never know that she succeeded in doing that.

I had so many people say to me today,
” She was the girl who worked at the gas station. She was so nice.
She was always talking to me. Always so encouraging.
We would take awhile to leave, but we didn’t mind so much,
she was good to talk to.”

Cally worked at a gas station right out of highschool.
She didn’t have huge dreams like some of us do, for her the huge dream
was doing what she could, and being who she was to the world,
the way God wanted her to be.

I heard the other day that maybe our “destination” of our calling,
isn’t somewherelse…maybe it is right here where we are right now,
with whatever we are doing.

Cally was the most inspiring person on this earth, beyond what she felt psychologically.

After I found out Cally passed away, I jumped out of bed, and went upstairs to the attic,
and rummaging through the garage to find this letter I want to share.

I wondered if I should share it, because it was something she wrote for me,
but I decided others should see it, so they can see firsthand the legacy
that Cally left.


” Dear Angie,

Thank you so much for being you, amazing to me, your true.
If anyone should touch me in this manner, or really shock me with their
honesty and loyalty, it will be because of you.
You’ve given me faith that people who think, feel, love, and care, like
you are real.
You have all the qualities anyone could ever desire for a friend,
and then many added bonuses,
You are a talented writer, and never forget that your thoughts
are different can and will inspire something, no one else can
but you.
You are also very good at encouraging, and finding gifts in others.
One of your gifts is being the wind which helps your loved ones fly.
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that someone like you could relate,
and feel like me. I guess its because I look up to you.
I am proud to be your friend and honored to be your best.
Anyone could’ve, anyone would’ve, Thank you!
I am shocked and appauled to believe anyone would, or has treated you badly, and with
little insignificance.
They didn’t and they don’t know what they’re missing.
Angie, remember that, and remember this, you are special in God’s eyes!

Love,

Cally

A Legacy is left when one chooses to live their life with real meaning, otherwise they are just left
as a memory in the back of someone’s mind.

Let’s not be people that live life for ourselves, and miss out on the people out there in the world,
that need to know they are loved, that need encouragement.

Cally had deep pain, but the love she had for people went deeper.

She has no more suffering. Safe in the arms of Jesus.

Cally’s favorite Bible verse:

Job 32:6-10

“I am young in years,
and you are old;
that is why I was fearful,
not daring to tell you what I know.

I thought, ‘Age should speak;
advanced years should teach wisdom.’

But it is the spirit in a man,
the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding.

It is not only the old [c] who are wise,
not only the aged who understand what is right.

“Therefore I say: Listen to me;
I too will tell you what I know.

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if by chance, that special place
That you’ve been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in lov
e