LSOF: The kind of post I pray I will never write…

My last post I was very transparent, and I almost second guessed a few things that I wrote, but nevertheless, I know I was meant to write it.

I was thinking the other day after writing it. I did my own personal checklist, and one thing I realized I didn’t do enough of was mention God’s Word, give scriptures and share Biblical quotes.

However, I feel like while that might have been what “ I should have done” according to maybe some, I will say God spoke something powerful to my heart:

“ Don’t write it unless you feel it.”

It’s not that I didn’t want to place scripture to that post, because I could have, but more so, its not about going through the motions and finding words to say, I said the words I was supposed to say.

I was real, and I talked about what life was like for me right now. And Jesus is in my life and going through it with me.

But the post I never want to write is one that my heart is not all about.  I never want to write words just to make the rest of the world feel like I met some sort of standard as a Christian writer.

My feeling is that there is enough in this world we try to sugarcoat to make life easier for those around us, but I’m not going to be someone who always writes, about “ Sunshine and rainbows”- and especially now, its just not where I am.

I very much believe that God is amazing and His grace is sufficient for me. I know that Jesus died for me. I know that God is a deliverer, a healer, and our Father.  I know that He sees us in our sufferings and rejoices in our victories alongside of us.

But there are times where even believing it is just not enough.

Sometimes we come to places in our lives that place us at a standstill and we say to God,

“ Didn’t we just go through this?”

Wilderness times are very real, and it is meant to strengthen us. I know that reality.

But when you are a faith-believing Christian and you know what you know, and believe as you do, and then are hit and hit with the same things…it can make someone weary, such as myself.

So at the end of the day, when I continue to watch the pain and suffering around me, I remember He is still God, and therefore there is still hope.

I’m thankful so thankful that He is still here and He is still moving.

I pray I never write a post where my reality doesn’t match up with what I’m sharing.

LSOF: Where did your faith begin?

I had a wonderful email come to me from a friend yesterday. She asked me about how ” open” was to other faiths and belief systems. I want you to know if you come to my blog, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from; I will treat you with the upmost respect and I will accept you as you are.
Believe me, I am the poster child for ” imperfection.”

For those who do have faith though, because in my email I replied, I noticed that I my faith in God began when there were tears streaming down my face. Since then, I am just emotional when I pray to God, I can’t help it. He brings me comfort and peace. He wipes the dirt off my back and takes my hand, and helps me up.

I have just come to realize that I have seen myself, who I really am, through the eyes of faith.

God knows me, He gets me. The rest of the world, could never possibly. Afterall, only He created me.

So anyway, if you are new to the blog, I am open to anything to ask. I will only ask that you keep comments respectful to the blog, and to others that visit here.

Here is something I wrote in my journal years ago to God: A friend told me I should start to share my story more, so here it is:

The sun may rise and set, but you O Lord, are constant. I find relief that you keep watch on even the simplest daydreams. I fear not that someone’s words would destroy me, because I know who I am in you. I fear not of death, a shadow only cast by Satan, because whether my heart continues to go on beating, or I am alive, Jesus lives within me. The world’s knowledge of you is incomplete and I would long to be your vessel; keeping your wisdom carefully hung from my shoulders. I am your child, I fear not that you will always be close, and I have your arms near me to wrap around me, I love you today, and forever.